Joi Behrend

I want to open a museum for left handed people. Help me make my dream a reality.

[Joi Behrend @Flowers4Leda]

“And even then we did not have any comprehension of how bad it would really become” —Samuel Pisar
Holocaust survivor
Hitler’s Holocaust E1
#AmazonPrime
Anyone else recall feeling this in January 2017...?

[Joi Behrend @Flowers4Leda]

The sword belonged to a left handed Viking. #lefties https://t.co/uPBNX7KkkP

[Joi Behrend @Flowers4Leda]

@Winter Lol, would you please help my friend? 😁
To be able to watch Bill and Ted face the music https://t.co/fFEfPIvxy8

[Joi Behrend @Flowers4Leda]

This skinny lady on the Weather Channel is about to blow away. They need a big bitch to take over 🤣 #HurricaneLaura

[Joi Behrend @Flowers4Leda]

Just discovered Michael Kors Wanderlust fragrance. So perfect for summer. It’s citrus and smoldering charcoal, a day at the beach in a bottle. It really made me happy today 💛💛💛

[Joi Behrend @Flowers4Leda]

Excellent piece about the murderer in the White House. https://t.co/bfWpCltF8A

[Joi Behrend @Flowers4Leda]

@claudiaswan @JimJimto 😂 The man doing these is a sports announcer & there’s no sports so he does silly videos with dogs instead. The bird flew away.

[Joi Behrend @Flowers4Leda]

Hannah ruins the show for me. She’s the devil. 👿#belowdeck

[Jim @JimJimto]

Brilliant again @MrAndrewCotter . How many dogs have you got?😀

[Joi Behrend @Flowers4Leda]

Not trying to be cunty (although that’s my default) but just wondering if the Purge alarm will be going off in my town tonight at curfew. So over everything.

[Joi Behrend @Flowers4Leda]

Katelyn Collins (sp) on CNN needs to blink her eyes fifty seven billion times more per second because I’m not already anxious enough rn. JFC.

[Joi Behrend @Flowers4Leda]

@claudiaswan It went great. I made $6.23. Now I can buy that Big Mac I’ve been saving for. 🙄

[Joi Behrend @Flowers4Leda]

My family says I need a job so here’s my plan: I’m selling apples for five cents. Blowjobs are ten cents. Combo apple and a blowjob is twelve cents. I’ll be on the corner Tuesday morning with my sign.

[Joi Behrend @Flowers4Leda]

@19aldogia @StephenKing Get Shorty!

[Joi Behrend @Flowers4Leda]

@aaronguilmette When you’re done with him can you stumble over here and have a talk with the pandemic me who drank all the vodka? Six feet away, of course...

[Joi Behrend @Flowers4Leda]

@SkyeCity_ And he had the fucking disease! I really don’t understand anything anymore but I guess it doesn’t matter. Into the bin with us 🤷‍♀️

[Joi Behrend @Flowers4Leda]

Today I’ve been told to go get a job. Told to go get mental help. Whilst I’m at it I’ll go get the winning lottery ticket 🙄

[Joi Behrend @Flowers4Leda]

A tuna sandwich from Subway & chamomile tea are hard to get? 🙄🤣 White truffles are hard to get. Edelweiss is hard to get. Fucking Clorox wipes are hard to get. Jason Hehir seems like a dumb ass. https://t.co/7fICylyCOZ

[Joi Behrend @Flowers4Leda]

Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the lord my soul to keep. If I don’t die before I wake, I’m gonna be pissed. #LivingNightmare

[Joi Behrend @Flowers4Leda]

People aren’t getting it, which is precisely why people are getting it. 🙄

[Joi Behrend @Flowers4Leda]

Frustrated, sad, lonely, angry, scared, anxious, and mentally stuck in a hamster wheel of the same thought: “what the hell is happening?!” #howareyoureally