Kiyo

fucking fuck

[Mao3P @Ex0taku]

Tu amigo gay ricotero cuando le gusta tu otro amigo paki que queerbaitea siempre: ¿Era trolo? pregunté. Soy un iluso

[CONAN ESTÁ MUERTO (OTRA VEZ) @_amlsk]

@Martinpdisalvo @elprofesorcaleb Me parece, Coscu, que hay que empezar a cruzar la grieta y re cagarlos a trompadas a todos los imbéciles que están del otro lado. Harto de esta gente. HARTO.

[Murray Hill Guy @MurrayHillGuy1]

If you're a millennial it's time to pick your midlife crisis:

1. Quitting alcohol
2. Running 10 miles before work
3. Divorce
4. Panic baby at 35 with wife you hate
5. Pickleball
6. ADHD diagnosis
7. Dressing like you did in 2004
8. Blacking out every weekend like you’re 21
9. Weekly hinge dates
10. Ice baths and saunas
11. Board games and craft beer in the suburbs
12. Getting into tattoos
13. Quitting your job to explore your “passions”
14. Plants and the environment
15. Traveling

[S.🎧 @1ssve]

FUCK TEAMS.
FUCK EXCEL.
FUCK AUTHENTICATOR APP.
FUCK ONE DRIVE.

[El alma torturada de charlie kirk @bajatxnsion]

este 2026 si no sos progre te vamos a matar

[caiterpillar𓆑 @bugging0ut]

first in my bloodline to smoke this much weed

[karbon 🐺🦊 @karbonbased]

Meeting your wife in 2016 was really the last boat out of Saigon before being relegated to the permanent lonely class

[doomer @uncledoomer]

phew, for a second there i thought he was

[independiente🇦🇹 @Rodribenitez16]

@JeroRuvioli Epstein aparece en los archivos de Coppola

[giso @gisodelenteja]

To: ██████ █████
From: Jeffrey Epstein <[email protected]>
18. Dec. 2018, 5am

wanting to plant. this singer girl yami safdie , argentina . u up?

[𝖚𝖈𝖎𝖝𝖌𝖊 🧙‍♂️🔮 @realjuanruocco]

https://t.co/XEPmumQ5Pd

[Nitza @The_Cramiena]

you have the easiest access of guns in the entire planet and yall are saying you cant do anything holy fuck we cant trust anything to you yankees how can you be this useless

[El Ruso @callmeyuriii]

necesito que la estética alternativa y la radicalización política vuelvan a ir de la mano, porque me parece una locura ver a gente punk, gótica, otaku… siendo racistas, transfobas, homófobas y demás

[Kiyo @Francocli]

@Mayoraz Estamos ahi desde 2013 aprox.

[Storyteller Lemmy @LemmySmackett]

"Hey, did you see this? Four days into January and we've got a contender for Worst Father of the Year."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, this guy wrote a whole long tweet about how he hates spending time with his kid."

"Ah. So is he a Goku bad dad or a Vegeta bad dad?"

"Uh, what's the difference?"

"It's simple. Goku is a negligent father because he's an oblivious, single-minded simpleton while Vegeta is a callous father because he's an overbearing, single-minded smug twat—"

"Uh.'

"—and knows it."

"More like Vegeta."

"Mhm."

"Like this guy knows he should enjoy spending time with his son—throwing the ball around, playing catch, that sort of thing—but he'd be rather at work 'accomplishing' something."

"Like becoming the strongest of all Saiyans. That's very Vegeta."

"He says his blood starts boiling if he has to spend more than 10 minutes a day watching his own kid."

"Wow, a whole ten minutes. That's heroic."

"Right? Like what kind of asshole—"

"I can barely last five."

"Say what?"

"I've made it clear to my wife that any time she leaves the room, she better start a damn timer—"

"You're serious."

"—because in three hundred seconds I'm gonna go Fainaru Ekusupurōjon on our cherished pride and joy."

"Final what?"

"It's the original Japanese name for the suicidal supernova blast technique Vegeta uses in episode 237 in a last-ditch effort to defeat Majin Buu."

"Now hold on."

"Naturally, it fails."

"Hold on, hold on. You're really gonna blow up on your own kid because you can't stand to be around him for longer than five freakin' minutes?"

"Down to the millisecond, yes."

"Then what's all this shit about Goku and Vegeta?"

"They're universal paternal archetypes."

"𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺."

"Really. All men are one or the other—callous or oblivious—but only great men are Vegeta dads. It's in our aristocratic blood."

"Yeah, I don't think Akira Toriyama was working towards a Grand Unified Theory of Fatherhood by putting forward a Reductionist Binary Model of Paternal Attachment when he made all the dads dicks in his weekly battle comic about fighting monkey men from space."

"First off, great artists are often unaware of the profound Truths encapsulated in their work."

"Again, fighting monkey men from space."

"Secondly, that's Piccolo erasure."

"Okay, fair. But I still can't believe you hate your kid that much man. Five minutes!"

"I don't hate him."

"That's brutal."

"I would eradicate a continent for him."

"See, every keyboard space marine says shit like that, but they never specify what continent, like—"

"Asia."

"Wow. You had that in the chamber."

"The annihilation of Asia removes our greatest geopolitical foes, forces America to reshore all manufacturing, ends the AI race, and saves the internet."

"At the cost of 4.7 𝘣𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘰𝘯 lives."

"I really like the internet."

"You know, a normal person would try to minimize the loss of human life and take out something like, I don't know, 𝘈𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘢?"

"And kill all of those innocent macaroni penguins?"

"Oh right, sorry, my bad. I forgot about the macaroni penguins."

"You sneer but a macaroni penguin never tried to trick my elderly mother into going down to Best Buy and converting her life savings into Apple Music gift cards."

"Okay, fair. So you'd literally wipe out 1/4th of the planet's population for your child, but you wouldn't harm a single golden feather on the head of a single macaroni penguin. I see how it is."

"I mean, obviously I'm wiping out the macaroni penguins if I gotta, man. That's my kid."

"This is all just illogical macho fantasy bullshit to justify limitless violence as the solution to all life's problems. Like when John Wick spends four movies massacring a stadium's worth of men over one lousy puppy."

"I mean, have you seen the first movie? It's a cute puppy."

"Even so—"

"He's totally justified."

"Okay, but you wouldn't watch a movie where John Wick has to suck off a hundred gorillas in a stadium to save said puppy."

"I would not watch a movie where John Wick blows a hundred gorillas in a stadium to save a puppy, no."

"And you wouldn't do it either."

"You got me. I would not blow or bottom for a hundred gorillas to save my child—"

"I rest my case.

"—but if I had to 𝘵𝘰𝘱 those gorillas."
---
[m][title: Dad Behavior]

[‎ً @lewcedes]

“I speak English because I’m required to communicate with degenerates like you”