Fried Monkey

The craziest

[Fried Monkey @FriedMonkeys]

A man of honor won’t take the easy out

[octopus/caveman @octopuscaveman]

A guy at work told me he pooped his pants. I asked him if he thought he had that parasitic diarrhea that’s going around and he said “no it’s solid.” So I asked him what happened and he said “I just messed up” and walked to the bathroom.

[Fried Monkey @FriedMonkeys]

@corbydavidson When’s your kid starting his Vegas tour?

[Fried Monkey @FriedMonkeys]

@mindyisser Don’t bring keys, locked out, call husband mad, husband tells about hide-a-key, gets hide a key, calls husband mad about how hidden hide-a-key was. True story.

[Fried Monkey @FriedMonkeys]

“I’m Ronny Boxtown, and welcome to Jerkbutt!”

[CoveredGeekly @CoveredGeekly]

Johnny Knoxville when asked if the Jackass torch will be passed down to a new generation for a Jackass 6

"I think there is 0% chance in that happening. We're done."

(via https://t.co/Llh1Ya7HmT)

[Fried Monkey @FriedMonkeys]

@Joshstrangehill A gun is not a weapon Marge, it’s a tool; like a chainsaw, or an alligator

[Fried Monkey @FriedMonkeys]

@TheTumboy Yeah why don’t they go to the libary and read a book

[Fried Monkey @FriedMonkeys]

Maybe it’s Superman?

[由依🍥 @youy1qwq]

华为长焦拍飞机被识别成鸟了

[Fried Monkey @FriedMonkeys]

@JesterJum It looks more like a butthole

[Fried Monkey @FriedMonkeys]

@hedin__ Sub Center baby

[Fried Monkey @FriedMonkeys]

@smsamford01 @ClownWorld You have to order the fries “well done” - report back after you’ve tried this please

[Fried Monkey @FriedMonkeys]

It’s 2026 just drop your deuce in the back alley

[Fried Monkey @FriedMonkeys]

@rawsalerts I heard they’re working on a nine

[Fried Monkey @FriedMonkeys]

My life’s not over yet

[Teej “TJ” Gallagher Jr. @tjgallyjr]

Do yall think you have drank more beers or cranked hog more in your life?

[Fried Monkey @FriedMonkeys]

@radshaan I hope I’m alive to see the 8 series

[Fried Monkey @FriedMonkeys]

@GPrime85 Yeah like let’s portray the greatest story of western history, do everything top notch, biggest actors etc, but then let’s just change a few things from the story like who kills who it’s no big deal

[Fried Monkey @FriedMonkeys]

@SiezerW I mean, if you had no time to prepare, dragons would wreck you, but if you lived in an ancient empire founded by dragons everyone and their mother would know the couple of ways you could kill them

[Fried Monkey @FriedMonkeys]

@mattrife Just think of how many more beers you could drink if you didn’t have to pretend to golf

[Fried Monkey @FriedMonkeys]

@kyber_kat 14 years

[Fried Monkey @FriedMonkeys]

@JesterJum You forgot crawling into the little nook of space behind a bush and making a fort

[Fried Monkey @FriedMonkeys]

@bryanrbeal When white collar hits a recession, these tips will stop and blue collar will follow