Cody

Computer Science is rad // Faithfully LGBT // Lover of bears // He|Him

[pucko @pussy_liquor_]

I have a salt lick installed in my room And I stand on all fours and go to town. Until I hear a twig snap 👀 who’s there

[mrs mind freak @quiet_homeboy]

You met me at a very Chinese time in my life

[Seth @holzawn]

Oomf was soft launching a flaking So I sent her this & it WORKED

[Talita Dospaço is my Wife @Lucayou7]

Fae (They/Them): Can I have your pronouns?

Researcher (He/Him): Yeah it’s He/Him.

Fae (They/Them/He/Him): Thank you!

Researcher (/): …

Researcher (/): Wait…

[Clothes-Minded Individual @NBABabySecret]

When everyone thinks you are senile, a good strategy is to invoke your hatred of windmills, as there are no famous literary parallels to this

[Black cats are not bad luck @blackscats]

When the new heated toilet seat attracts the wrong crowd 😭

[primordial soup kitchen @fernbirg]

Here Bond, a cyanide pill disguised as a mint. You can use it to kill yourself in a pinch. And this Bond, is your watch. It’s fitted with a detonator to kill yourself if necessary. And of course your gun, the Walther PPK. Only one bullet though so save it for if you’re captured.

[kamau @poorteffy]

This is like the girl version of the “8 inches and thick” guy

[cronenbabe @Mascquatch]

Smoking that shit that killed Shinzo Abe

[Batto @Batto079]

Bro watching The Odyssey inside the Trojan Horse.

[Pierre L’Fauex @LFauexProd]

Saw a man's penis at the urinal. @AMCTheatres

[Xenocrypt @xenocryptsite]

Wow 20% accounted for 80%, an unprecedented and unique dynamic.

[kaitan 🩻 @pinagkaitan_]

i’m such an awful texter but we shouldn’t be this accessible anyway but the price of community is inconvenience and discomfort but

[Arbeitology @Arbeitologist]

Got a good irl bit rn where I tell everyone I'm reading Ulysses in preparation for the Nolan film. My wife thinks I'm stupid.

[Alex @midsmoker34]

I went body for body with this guy in an airport bathroom last Christmas during a layover. Say what you want about how he looks, he hit me so hard in the ribs once that my knees buckled. We still text each other about it to this day

[deepfates @deepfates]

The secret to riffing is being able to make a surprising connection faster than other people for this purpose. For this reason, I keep a reverse hashmap of all jokes I've ever heard, indexed by punchline. So I can find the joke in O(1) time

[clark🫐 @clarksided]

We met on Twitter, so I should probably share the engagement here too.

[ヤ @MatekoBenzaX]

When they google it and you are wrong

[Mia @boygrrI]

my shooters like snails move slow but slime regardless

[Cody @FumblingBear]

@Miraoumi That picture reminds me of a softer version of the art for Keep Your Cool by @RILEYtheband 😎