river || 🍉🇺🇦

i cry a lot, but i am so productive !!! it’s an art :)

[𝓲𝓬𝓮 @be_like_ice]

The best part about adopting a rescue cat is watching them slowly realize they're finally safe. The funniest part is watching them immediately start acting like they own the place and somehow, they do.

[bald ann dowd @ali_sivi]

heyyy i would love to hang out for the 4th but i have to go to this random fucking wedding in midtown

[ren ☆ @opossumguts]

im actually tearing up at "i choose you"

[blaire @pissshit90001]

When I mess up I just think about how someone went to work one day and did Chernobyl

[🐳 @Pilo2Lilo]

everyone wants to work in animal care until you're at work solo holding a baby stingray that's declining and singing "you are my sunshine" to him so he doesn't feel alone. 9 hour solo shift, solo injections on him, and had to check on him every 5 minutes. it's hard

[leaf123 @notaweirdgirl]

girl shave your elbows we’re going to tallahassee florida

[allison harvard burke @alliharvard]

my high school senior picture that my family did not buy lol

[Czarina @fishontherun02]

I once wrote “pre-Madonna” instead of “prima donna.” Kids today will never know how she dominated our imaginations

[Joey Nova NYC 🍇 @thejoeynova]

I used to be confused about the Madonna-Whore complex when I first heard about it as a kid because I was like well isn’t Madonna kind of slutty too

[𝒹𝓇𝒾𝓏𝓏𝓎𝓁𝒾𝓉 @drizzylitfw]

Cats have really played the longest game in history. Thousands of years ago they were like "hey if u shelter us and feed us we'll kill your vermin" and humans were like "yeah sounds lit" and now we still shelter and feed them but they do absolutely nothing in exchange???

[Anne 🐗🐍🦃 @GovernorAnne]

The hot new “would you rather” on TikTok is “would you rather leave your child for 3 hours with a random man who shares your political views or a random woman who disagrees with you on everything” you mean would I drop my kids off at my mom’s house?

[kateyꕤ @loverlezza]

gestures that make you more feminine

[Kit🎗🍉 @KitKatBlade]

“Quick grab the feminist novels!” is maybe the funniest joke I’ve heard in forever oh my god bro 😭

[k (top 99% on OF) @how_do_i_pdf]

All my life I knew I was missing something. It was never love, money, or a sense of purpose. It was the sheep rice bowl.

[lydia @lydsfilm]

this almost made me tear up i love the imagination of children so much

[Yves-Angeline @AdamantxYves]

Shout out to the strippers of NYC tonight. I hope you make your yearly salary in one weekend!

[Wacky Hijinks @wacky_hijinks]

Helicopters seem to exist solely to kill celebrities and politicians

[adam ❀ @adamlovesliv]

stupid song is the most olivia rodrigo song ever i lowkey wish it had been the lead bc it plays to all her strengths and shows what she does best