G-Dubs_#1

[Nearly There Improv @ImprovThere]

SOUND THE ALARMS! The Nearly There Valentines❤️ Funny Show has been pushed to 8:30 this Friday. Call the babysitter. Break the curfew. Drink caffeine in the nighttime. The funny kids are going late!

[Jonathon_Zapf @JonathonZapf]

Athena: A Bow that never misses
Ares: A sword made of fire
Zeus: Actual bolts of lightning

Poseidon: A large fork

[Jonathon_Zapf @JonathonZapf]

Me: I’m having trouble with this problem

My Math Teacher: Try working backwards

Me: I can barely even do math forwards

[Jonathon_Zapf @JonathonZapf]

There’s a lizard called a “Bearded Dragon” that apparently has more facial hair than me, the mammal, and we’re known for our hair.

[G-Dubs_#1 @GDubs110]

@AlaskaAir Thanks Andre, now I can sleep. @AlaskaAir

[G-Dubs_#1 @GDubs110]

I do not like flying from place to place. So every time I convince myself that I’m going to die and there’s noting I can do about it....and then I’m fine. @AlaskaAir

[G-Dubs_#1 @GDubs110]

@peteholmes 😂 all I did was make homemade pizza and spend 20 min in a hot tube with my cousin. Sooooo, I guess this is going to be a pretty easy year for me.

[G-Dubs_#1 @GDubs110]

Ur a bitch @realDonaldTrump

[G-Dubs_#1 @GDubs110]

@SportsTalkBarry Maannn! Never saw that one coming

[G-Dubs_#1 @GDubs110]

Out on the town 2-nite with BJ-Franklin and my boi T-Paine. BJ may have had one too many as per usual. #shotsshotsshots #bros4life Working on a big project rn with the crew, hope you guys like it. #Merica
#RedWhiteandTrue
-George Washington (1787)

[G-Dubs_#1 @GDubs110]

@peteholmes @HBO Dwiope @JerrySeinfeld

[G-Dubs_#1 @GDubs110]

IIIIII aaaam the Preesssidennnnt, yoooouuuuu aaarre nooooooot! #relatable #firstcomefirstserve
#hunk #humblebrag #Merica #Freedomloversheephugger
#yeahboiii #undefeated #powderedwigs
George Washington (Feb. 4th 1789)

[G-Dubs_#1 @GDubs110]

Just signed a piece of paper that may change the course of history. #humblebrag Spoiler Alert! John Hancock’s, or Johnny-Boy as we like to call him around the office, signature took up like half the page! #compensatingforsomething?
#Powderedwigs
George Washington (Sept. 17, 1787)

[G-Dubs_#1 @GDubs110]

Out on the town 2-nite with BJ-Franklin and my boi T-Paine. BJ may have had one too many as per usual. #shotsshotsshots #bros4life Working on a big project rn with the crew, hope you guys like it. #Merica
#RedWhiteandTrue
-George Washington (1787)

[G-Dubs_#1 @GDubs110]

Currently looking for a new horse. Just had two shot out from under me, crazy day at work. #hunk?
Also, I’m looking for a tailor for my jacket. It has like 5 bullet holes in it from the same battle. Ugh, thank goodness for Friday! #TGIF #Blessed
George Washington (1777)

[G-Dubs_#1 @GDubs110]

Hey Guys, I was in my first battle today! #lookmaImadeit! It was pretty great, turns out I #love the sound of bullets wizzing past my head so #dreamjob #godsavethequeen
-George Washington (1754)