@DecodingFoxNews Maybe we should try changing it from the ACA to the TCA (Trump Care Act) use his need for ‘narcissistic fuel’ to get what we need? Think of the ways we could stop Project 2025, using this technique? The people overseeing Project 2025, figured out how to use him, it’s possible.
🇺🇸🤡🇬🇱 Trump Explains U.S. Needs Greenland For National Security After Brief, Confusing Encounter With History
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Standing confidently in front of a map he appeared to be seeing for the first time, former President Donald Trump announced Friday that the United States must take Greenland for “national protection”.
“They tell me Denmark was there 300 years ago with a boat,” Trump said, gesturing vaguely toward the Arctic. “Well, we were there with boats too. I’m sure of it. We had the best boats. Tremendous boats.”
Historians quickly noted that the United States did not exist until 1776, a full 791 years after Norse Vikings settled Greenland around 985 AD, and 245 years after Denmark established formal colonies there. Trump supporters responded by accusing historians of being anti American and probably Danish.
Sources close to the former president say his Greenland strategy is rooted in a broader doctrine known as “National Protection,” a foreign policy framework in which the U.S. protects itself by threatening allies, ignoring treaties, and loudly misunderstanding geography.
“Greenland is very big, very white, very empty,” Trump continued. “Very small population. Almost suspiciously small. You look at it and you say, why is nobody using this? Seems wasted.”
Greenlanders, described by Trump as “basically squatters with sweaters,” were reportedly not consulted.
NATO officials expressed confusion after Trump implied the U.S. might need to seize Greenland to protect itself from threats already covered by NATO, including threats from the United States. One diplomat described the plan as “bullying your own security system until it cries.”
The Pentagon confirmed that the U.S. already operates military bases in Greenland and that there is no plausible military scenario in which occupying it would improve American security. Trump dismissed this, saying, “If we already have bases, imagine how safe we’d be if we owned the whole thing.”
Education experts say the comments highlight a deeper issue. “This is what happens when confidence replaces knowledge,” said one professor. “Facts are optional, chronology is fake news, and boats are eternal.”
Meanwhile, MAGA supporters praised Trump for “thinking outside the timeline” and “standing up to Big History.”
At press time, Trump was reportedly eyeing the moon, stating that America “was probably there first” and that it “needs protection too.”
🇺🇸 🇺🇸 BREAKING NEWS: Donald Trump Announces Plan To Fight Future Wars Using Strategy From 1944
In a bold move described by experts as “aggressively nostalgic,” President Trump announced plans to build 20 to 25 brand-new “Trump Class” battleships for the U.S. Navy, creating THOUSANDS of jobs and at least several thousand follow-up PowerPoint decks explaining why this made sense at the time.
“These ships will be 100 times more powerful than the Iowa-class,” Trump said, confidently, while refusing to clarify whether “powerful” meant militarily, emotionally, or spiritually. 🇺🇸
Each battleship will cost a modest $10 billion, roughly the price of several functioning healthcare systems. Pentagon officials confirmed the ship can be destroyed by a $10 000 drone torpedo operated by a teenager with a gaming laptop and decent WiFi.
Military strategists immediately praised the plan for its commitment to fighting the next war exactly like World War II, but with worse odds. Russia’s Black Sea Fleet reportedly volunteered as a case study in why this might not go great, noting that most of it is currently serving as artificial reef.
Critics also raised minor logistical questions, such as where these ships will be built, since the U.S. currently lacks enough wharf capacity. Trump responded by asking if TEMU ships overnight and whether “dry dock” is a real thing or just woke naval jargon.
Supporters remain optimistic, pointing out that Trump-branded ventures have a long and inspiring history of success, resilience, and absolutely not collapsing into Casino bankruptcy.
@DarainChains Had to go to ER yesterday (post-op issues) and my nurse, who said she’s due in three weeks, wasn’t wearing a mask 🙇♀️ another nurse, who FREAKED and asked why my husband and I were wearing masks, because she didn’t want to get sick, said she’s built up an immunity to covid 🤦♀️
To recap:
• HBO Max doesn't renew deal with Sesame Street
• Netflix picks up Sesame Street
• Netflix announces it's buying HBO Max
Elmo's out here playing 3D chess
Has anyone thought about changing the name of the ACA (Obamacare) to something after the 🍊🤡 and giving him an award??? All of the things Project 2025, wants to destroy, we could probably save with the need to feed his narcissistic personality 🙄🤬
@chrislhayes I don’t remember hearing maga going crazy when the Dodgers pitcher needed a translator, when the coach went out to the mound during the World Series