SoberGabriel

I can't do a hand stand.

[SoberGabriel @GabeHuber]

Hey @ridetarc get your drivers under control. Whoever is driving bus 21 is over here on Bishop Lane running red lights almost hitting some of us.

[SoberGabriel @GabeHuber]

@amazon delivery is honestly terrible. Get your shit together. Not ONCE have yall followed delivery instructions, leaving my packages in random spots to be stolen multiple times. Fix your shit.

[Griffin @GriffinNotGriff]

@SECNetwork

[SoberGabriel @GabeHuber]

You know what a good feeling is? It’s when you’re lighting your last cigarette, hopping in your car to go grab more for the next day. Then you buy them, get back in your car, and realize you already had another fresh pack. It’s like a bonus pack. No more buying til Thursday now!

[SoberGabriel @GabeHuber]

@ATTHelp Why does your WiFi always suck when I walk just outside my back door? Literally, one step out the door I have to turn WiFi off.

[SoberGabriel @GabeHuber]

@RealSkipBayless Shut the fuck up you untalented fuck

[SoberGabriel @GabeHuber]

I haven’t tweeted in a very long time. Just figured I’d let y’all know I’m alive. And I just farted.

[SoberGabriel @GabeHuber]

@RealSkipBayless Is the worst sports minded person that could be employed anywhere. I know I’d be better. My little sister would have better takes.

[SoberGabriel @GabeHuber]

Turns out she is married. Shoot.

[SoberGabriel @GabeHuber]

Is Hillary Duff married? If not, think she’d go out to dinner with me?

[SoberGabriel @GabeHuber]

She loves playing the victim. She can’t go to sleep soon enough so that I can leave

[SoberGabriel @GabeHuber]

Also, she told her aunt I hit her. When she’s the one who punched me@in the face 3 times. I’ve never laid a hand on her. But I think she honestly believes what she says. I really do

[SoberGabriel @GabeHuber]

She’s certifiable. Bitch needs a straight jacket. But I need to wait for her to go to sleep before I can pull@my car out of the driveway

[SoberGabriel @GabeHuber]

I just got hired for a new job. She got drunk and called them to complain about me, leaving a message, possibly costing me a great job

[SoberGabriel @GabeHuber]

Can’t even leave to go home. She stands behind my car to keep me from leaving.

[SoberGabriel @GabeHuber]

I have never been with someone who makes me so miserable in my life. When she’s sober she’s fine. But that first drink of alcohol...Jesus Christ.

[SoberGabriel @GabeHuber]

I only gotta bite my tongue for a couple more days

[SoberGabriel @GabeHuber]

*Talking about pies*
Other Person: I like Derby Pie. But without the nuts.
Me: Me too.
OP: I think there’s actually a name for that, but I can’t think of it.
Me: Oaks pie?

[SoberGabriel @GabeHuber]

“The only time I will depend is when I’m 70 years old. That’s cuz I can’t hold my shit with them, so I shit on myself, cause I’m so sick and tired of shitting on everybody else.” Still one of the dirtiest lines ever.

[Brice Johnson @bjohnson_23]

Only Sheed could do this 😂😂🤣☠️💀