LUV Bean Counter

Bean counter standing on the shoulders of giants. Parody Account - not affiliated with Southwest Airlines.

[LUV Bean Counter @GaryKellyCEO]

Fuck me.

[LUV Bean Counter @GaryKellyCEO]

The invitation probably got lost in the mail since Southwest handles US Mail.

[Overheard At Southwest @AtSouthwest]

Unpopular opinion: if you’re on the board of directors and making multiple millions from it, you should appear when your decisions force your company to appear before congress @GaryKellyCEO

[LUV Bean Counter @GaryKellyCEO]

You hear that, Bob? You’re gonna get a spanking from Mayor Booty, you naughty Auggie.

[Secretary Pete Buttigieg @SecretaryPete]

Southwest passengers have experienced unacceptable disruptions and customer service conditions. I have made clear to their executives that our department will hold Southwest accountable for making things right with their customers and employees.

[LUV Bean Counter @GaryKellyCEO]

Don’t @ me.

[LUV Bean Counter @GaryKellyCEO]

So many nasty comments about Southwest Airlines this Christmas. Perhaps your luggage is having some much needed alone time away from all your negativity.

[LUV Bean Counter @GaryKellyCEO]

Bob, I think you started on the Manhattans a little too early this Christmas.

[LUV Bean Counter @GaryKellyCEO]

I think it’s time we get the band back together, Mike.

[LUV Bean Counter @GaryKellyCEO]

Put me in, coach!

[LUV Bean Counter @GaryKellyCEO]

I’m bored.

Tell me you want me back.

[LUV Bean Counter @GaryKellyCEO]

It’s really a pretty easy decision. Most of you are pussies to oppose the mandate and more of you are slave-tied to your job. Since my bonus is 60% based on “COVID management,” I got this in the bag.

LUV Retirement. Good luck, Bob!

[LUV Bean Counter @GaryKellyCEO]

Get Vaxxed or Get Axxed, bitches.

My bonus depends on it.

[LUV Bean Counter @GaryKellyCEO]

Can we impeach the FAA instead?

[LUV Bean Counter @GaryKellyCEO]

Is there anything in the Mueller Report about the President’s obstruction of profits?!

[LUV Bean Counter @GaryKellyCEO]

[cues Bananarama’s “Cruel Summer”]

😢

[CNN Business @CNNBusiness]

Southwest Airlines plans for a summer without the 737 Max https://t.co/ferBlnmgMh

[LUV Bean Counter @GaryKellyCEO]

Can we get a price adjustment on previous purchases? https://t.co/sUbpD3tG7G

[LUV Bean Counter @GaryKellyCEO]

Make
Aviation
Great
Again

#LetMaxFly

[LUV Bean Counter @GaryKellyCEO]

I’m sure this throws a wrench into your little plan. You grease monkeys should ask the baggage handlers how I do in federal court. #Winning

[CBS News Texas @CBSNewsTexas]

Southwest Airlines Sues Its Mechanics Union
https://t.co/jJVPbiDI7n (Getty Images)

[LUV Bean Counter @GaryKellyCEO]

@fred_guttenberg Nppojii

[LUV Bean Counter @GaryKellyCEO]

Tomorrow is Election Day. If you want less legroom, longer TSA lines, prolonged labor negotiations, no peanuts, privatized air traffic control, exorbitant executive bonuses, and rising ticket prices despite low fuel costs... vote either party. We got this on lock 😎🇺🇸

[LUV Bean Counter @GaryKellyCEO]

In the airlines industry, if you’re a Muslim and hijack a plane, you’re a terrorist. If you’re white and hijack a plane, you’re mentally ill. I don’t make the rules, people.