having an open-earth courtyard in the middle of the house is all fun and games until your rooms are crawling with the most ominous insects and half the floor space is painted with the insides of centipedes and earthworms
Bro why is Trump able to snap his fingers and make everything immediately worse, while Democrats need unanimous permission from the whole world to wipe their own asses?
I don't give a fuck if you've lost every job and nobody likes you and you're 39. You're not even at halftime. You're just losing right now. You're not a loser.
World Cup Exit Reactions:
🇰🇷South Korea: immediate national inquiry, special tribunal. Coach canceled from polite society
🇳🇴Norway: Massive rowing party in downtown Oslo. Everyone’s drunk on aquavit and happy
🇺🇸USA: sorry? what is this sport? oh right, it's gay anyway
🏴England: TUCHEL OUT in 48-point Impact font on the front pages and endless streams of commentators dissecting the 4-2-3-1 formation. Total self-flagellation and promises to never believe that football's ever coming home again
🇧🇷Brazil: 18,000-word philosophical treatises tracing the decline of the Seleção to the rise of neopentecostalism
🇯🇵Japan: Coach performs polite post-match bow; promises to further develop youth academies and do better
🇩🇪Germany: Emergency DFB (Deutscher Fußball-Bund) Summit to analyze what went wrong with soul-searching German efficiency and thoroughness. Already produced tactical white paper titled “Gegenpressing 2.0: Rebuilding the German Soul.”
🇦🇷Argentina: