Gemma Crocker

partner in cake @drinksandbites Cheshire. #wifesforlife 🌈#mochaswiththecrockers #lchf #keto

[Gemma Crocker @GemCrocks]

@clarebalding are Team G.B. looking for any extras for the curling? We’ve been practicing…
#Olympics2026

[Mollie Goodfellow @hansmollman]

Do you think there’s an amount of money the Vatican would accept to let you use the Conclave chimney to do a gender reveal

[Paul Rees. ex Rucksack. @HannahIamthest1]

Never, in the history of publishing, has so much human misery been created by one book.
🤣🤣

[Shannon @gardengirl125]

My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like a cunt

[Joey Mate™️ 🇦🇺 🇳🇱 @Joey1800callme]

FFS…..barely over Christmas and the shops are full of Valentines Day presents already….😤

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

One minute you’re young and wild, the next you’re declining an invitation to sit on a beanbag because “I won’t be able to get up again!”

[James Lucas @JamesLucasIT]

Thread of the most stunning cafes on Earth 🧵

1. New York Café, Budapest

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

If you’re looking for a new job, feel free to borrow this list of interests from my own CV.

Interests
-Sitting quietly
-Taking the bins out in a timely manner
-Looking in the fridge
-Sending memes to my two friends
-Crisps
-Cheese
-Shows about murder or baking
-Dogs
-Hot drinks
-Biscuits
-Looking out of the window
-Potatoes
-Toast
-Visiting supermarkets
-Commenting on the weather
-Avoiding people
-Going to bed

[Amy Solomon @amybethsol]

When something says it needs 2 minutes in the microwave but 40 minutes in the oven it does make you think a little bit about wtf is going down in the microwave

[honey i am a guy and i shrunk the kids @snowrespecter]

Take That is short for Take That Enormous Child Outside Please

[Stevo Stonko @Stevo_Stonko]

Thought I'd jump on the bandwagon 🤷🏻

[Dave Bagpuss Forsey 🍺 @Bagpuss_org]

I condensed 25 years of #granddesigns into 96 seconds. @granddesigns @Kevin_McCloud @Channel4

[Supertanskiii @supertanskiii]

The horrifying reality of being a woman, perfectly summarised by @_CaitlinORyan

If you give even the slightest shit about women, watch it all. This is what it’s like.

[Gemma Crocker @GemCrocks]

@Nigella_Lawson fantastic martini book suggestion…of course I had to treat my wife!!

[Lisa Elizabeth @Lisaelizabeth]

I’m using this for everything.

[Ruth Husko @dank_ackroyd]

Little tip: If you’re looking for something fun and cheap to do in the UK right now why not try going to bed at 5:45pm

[Dara Ó Briain @daraobriain]

Somebody posted this insane Spotify playlist of every track on: Now 1 - 114 (1983 - 2023) Now That's What I Call Music 1 - 114 https://t.co/r6tTpI90RU
And it’s like a lifetime of cultural archaeology. I might listen to all 228 hours of it.
Currently reliving my university years.

[James Lucas @JamesLucasIT]

Thread of the most surreal villages on Earth 🧵

1. Marpissa in Paros, Greece

[P👁‍🗨NY @PONY_Official]

When you’re about to win an Olympic medal but your massive d*ck gets in the way while the whole world watches in slow motion. https://t.co/Kx8nOmjKzz

[patrick. @imPatrickT]

i cut together the best egg scenes in movies