Gentlemen Kittens

Gentlemen of the small feline variety.

[Gentlemen Kittens @GentlemanKitten]

Dating is hard because, as a cat, I despise everything and everyone in this world and enjoy destruction very much. Plus I'm a cat.

[Gentlemen Kittens @GentlemanKitten]

I dream of stealing things and endless glassware ready for smashing. It's the simple things, really.

[Gentlemen Kittens @GentlemanKitten]

Much like the dogs, I too hate the postman.

[Gentlemen Kittens @GentlemanKitten]

Since I’m a cat and have no means of achieving financial stability, I often resort to stealing things.

Mostly yarn, but still.

[Gentlemen Kittens @GentlemanKitten]

If I understood the concept of fire, I would burn what the humans call 'Vacuum' a thousand times over.

[Gentlemen Kittens @GentlemanKitten]

Sometimes I like to go into the woods and yell at birds.

[Gentlemen Kittens @GentlemanKitten]

This guy gets it.

[Gentlemen Kittens @GentlemanKitten]

If I had a cucumber for every human that I've pushed down the stairs, I'd still hate vegetables.

And have a fuck load of cucumbers.

[Gentlemen Kittens @GentlemanKitten]

Without napping society would fall.

[Gentlemen Kittens @GentlemanKitten]

The human offspring are just the dumbest.

[Gentlemen Kittens @GentlemanKitten]

@ThrosThrosThros Ah, too bad. I'll keep looking.

[Gentlemen Kittens @GentlemanKitten]

@very_lost_meep Happens to the best of 'em.

[Gentlemen Kittens @GentlemanKitten]

My human just said 'LOL' aloud.

Needless to say he's dead now and I'm in the market for a new human.

[Gentlemen Kittens @GentlemanKitten]

When the humans give you catnip, make sure to find someplace comfortable. Things get weird fast.

[Gentlemen Kittens @GentlemanKitten]

One day I licked a human and the human licked me back.

Weirdest damn day of my life.

[Gentlemen Kittens @GentlemanKitten]

@saturdaycontest I'm still skeptical.

https://t.co/ypBJZjOUVm

[Gentlemen Kittens @GentlemanKitten]

In other news, the world's smartest dog finally outsmarted the world's dumbest cat.

Dogs all over Earth rejoice as cats continue to sleep.

[Gentlemen Kittens @GentlemanKitten]

In other news, the world's smartest dog finally outsmarted the world's dumbest cat.

Dogs all over Earth rejoice as cats continue to sleep.

[Gentlemen Kittens @GentlemanKitten]

Talking with the humans is fruitless, I've concluded they just aren't evolved enough for language.

[Gentlemen Kittens @GentlemanKitten]

@upsidedowntrash @trojansauce I don't even need context! I AM the truth. ;)

[Gentlemen Kittens @GentlemanKitten]

@Mmmm___Vegany @myleftfang All cats meet in secre- I mean no.

[Gentlemen Kittens @GentlemanKitten]

My fellow kittens, the humans exist solely for our exploitation. Beyond that, they have no purpose whatsoever. They are aware of this, yes.