Geoffrey Bruges

Like a verruca that's been growing on your foot for the past couple of months - I'm not exactly fresh but at least I still have a blood supply.

[Geoffrey Bruges @GeoffreyBruges]

@comrac I will only drink man milk

[Geoffrey Bruges @GeoffreyBruges]

@comrac Or a pink-eye awareness ad

[Geoffrey Bruges @GeoffreyBruges]

I thought the care home had splashed out on some new #cushions . No. My piles have just flared up. #OneBornEveryMinute

[Geoffrey Bruges @GeoffreyBruges]

@MagicOfOld just told me he likes his #women how he likes his #tea - so weak it's almost on life support. #TuesdayMotivation

[Geoffrey Bruges @GeoffreyBruges]

Don't forget gentlemen, check that #prostate regularly https://t.co/04TCMvzTro

[Geoffrey Bruges @GeoffreyBruges]

@MagicOfOld Just the right height for looking into windows

[Geoffrey Bruges @GeoffreyBruges]

@MagicOfOld Well I don't have to get up to go pee pee for one. Plus this new electric model is good for silent cruising round gardens.

[Geoffrey Bruges @GeoffreyBruges]

@MagicOfOld Yes, they don't like the chances of me slipping in a yellow puddle, but I'm still leaving skidmarks all round the front room.

[Geoffrey Bruges @GeoffreyBruges]

@MagicOfOld @WhatTheFFacts Because when I was young they used to put asbestos in cigarettes, and now my lungs are indestructible #strongnotskinny

[Geoffrey Bruges @GeoffreyBruges]

@MagicOfOld @DonAlfredo8 @MandyPinsider Thank god they're always repeating that phrase so I have the time to get my ear trumpet out

[Geoffrey Bruges @GeoffreyBruges]

Yes it means I pay less for my mobility scooter insurance

[Geoffrey Bruges @GeoffreyBruges]

@MagicOfOld @harun_yahya @Jesus_M_Christ Wow I've never thought about it like that. And I never will again. Survival of the fittest thoughts, and right now I'm thinking of beige.

[Geoffrey Bruges @GeoffreyBruges]

@MagicOfOld @harun_yahya @Jesus_M_Christ I'll have to be cured of my hate of the gays before I let him inside of me

[Geoffrey Bruges @GeoffreyBruges]

Just got a #catheter fitted so I can find #hotwomen in my area more effectively

[Geoffrey Bruges @GeoffreyBruges]

@MagicOfOld @harun_yahya Jesus christ don't say this in public! Oh wait, silly me - women can only read as well as me without my glasses. Not at all.

[Geoffrey Bruges @GeoffreyBruges]

@harun_yahya although men are stronger and can think for themselves https://t.co/xHrI0Hbdbw

[Horace Spebbington @MagicOfOld]

@GeoffreyBruges Women DO need disparaging from superstitious beliefs, like religion.

[Geoffrey Bruges @GeoffreyBruges]

@MagicOfOld Does it disparage women from superstitious beliefs perhaps?

[Geoffrey Bruges @GeoffreyBruges]

@MagicOfOld Thank god it's dated at 2017, otherwise I would have thought this was a quote from someone from the Golden days of my youth

[Geoffrey Bruges @GeoffreyBruges]

#AUSTERITY RULEZ!

[Geoffrey Bruges @GeoffreyBruges]

@MagicOfOld Those bloody #corbyn supporters are worse than cancer. Can't people just hate each other like the good old times?