Horace Spebbington

Life should always be a surprise. I'm surprised every morning I wake up and I'm still alive.

[Horace Spebbington @MagicOfOld]

Way to show me, @elonmusk. Now instead of twatting at people, we'll be able to Eggs them instead. I'm too old for this shit.

[Horace Spebbington @MagicOfOld]

@jonlovett @realjonlovitz I don't know who you are or who Jon lovitz is or what it is either of you love, and I don't know why I should care. I'm old, leave me alone and stop harassing me.

[Horace Spebbington @MagicOfOld]

I know this tweet won't be read by anyone. I'm just hoping that in some small way it contributes to @elonmusk's downfall.

[Horace Spebbington @MagicOfOld]

@Lorcan_Music @BBC6Music @DavidBowieReal @WilliamShatner That's funny, I'm trimming some massive bushes too.

[Horace Spebbington @MagicOfOld]

Funny to think that an old man in a care home who stinks of piss now has more twitter followers than a sitting president @realdonaldtrump #TrumpBanned

[Horace Spebbington @MagicOfOld]

@realDonaldTrump The affidavits are from you! So far nobody has been able to prove your widespread voter fraud. Obviously the truth - that youre a loser - is too bitter a pill to swallow.

[Horace Spebbington @MagicOfOld]

@realDonaldTrump Who was he polling, the British? Probably why his numbers were off. You also clearly underestimate the number of people who wanted you out, yes, 75M people think you're shit, stick that record in your trophy cabinet.

[Horace Spebbington @MagicOfOld]

@realDonaldTrump Well, you learned that you lost, so there's that.

[Horace Spebbington @MagicOfOld]

@theollyolsson @realDonaldTrump Speak for yourself, I wouldn't piss on him if he was burning.

[Horace Spebbington @MagicOfOld]

@ModdyYah @realDonaldTrump I will humour your one last delusion before reality smacks you in the face.

Actually, no, I can't be arsed any more. Here's the number for a rehab clinic, get help.

[phone]

[Horace Spebbington @MagicOfOld]

@Tutsy22 I know, it's been GLORIOUS. I've been using the time wisely by winding up all the Trumpists. I haven't had this much fun since we kicked the Germany's ass in the war.

[Horace Spebbington @MagicOfOld]

@RawStory Just confirms what we already knew: she's just a big ol' ho. She's gonna have to make ends meet somehow once the public money tap gets turned off. I wonder if sex workers can get furloughed, since it doesn't look like anyone here would touch her with Don Jr's.

[Horace Spebbington @MagicOfOld]

@mymixtapez Trump got blue shelled on the line. That's life, bitch, deal with it!

[Horace Spebbington @MagicOfOld]

@richardmarx You might want to get that cough looked at. Could be the 'rona.

[Horace Spebbington @MagicOfOld]

@sephiritsikeli He hates religion so much that he identifies as Roman Catholic. The guilt must be driving him 5 kinds of loopy, and yet still, somehow, he can string a coherent sentence together. I'll take hates religion over 'hates anyone other than himself' any day.

[Horace Spebbington @MagicOfOld]

@KWE81293818 @GerardBattenUK I feel like you're playing fast and loose with the definition of 'won' there.

[Horace Spebbington @MagicOfOld]

@HenHokie @Slate I guess when you're 400million in debt and don't have the taxpayer to prop up your personal bank account any more, Rudy's meth lab will have to do.

[Horace Spebbington @MagicOfOld]

@HenHokie @MandyPinsider @GeoffreyBruges With her cataracts, she can't tell the difference between Trump and David dickinson. When the rona hit the care home, she locked herself in the cupboard with a bottle of baileys and the telly. Since then, she's been on one long Bargain Hunt for an antique clit.

[Horace Spebbington @MagicOfOld]

@SalaniKholofelo @BBCWorld Oh... And don't forget 'leader' too, it's really easy to conflate that term with 'whiny little bitch', so watch out for the correct usage there!

[Horace Spebbington @MagicOfOld]

@SalaniKholofelo @BBCWorld I've just worked out what to get you for your birthday! A dictionary! There's a few interesting words you might want to look up for starters: 'ethical', 'competent', 'fearless', and 'best'.