Me: Guy breaking into my house and I don't know who he is. I have no idea who this guy is.
911: Hmm. I probably don't know him either :/
Me: Please. Who is he
911: Just stay calm. Does he have a name tag?
beautiful girl sat in my section tried to tell me she had celiacs disease but i thought she said she had Silly Ex disease and i was like oh honey im afflicted too and the cure is margaritas!
I walked past three ladies and one said "oh my!" and one said "hubba hubba," but the third one stayed silent. I found out later that she has poor vision, and when her friends described what I looked like, she said "awooga".
me: we have to bar the door. the king’s guard will be here any moment, we can’t let them find you. If they do…i…I can’t lose you.
the ork ive been raising as my son: gorgutz…was…bad?
me: of course not gorgutz