Ghlaghghee

I'm being held hostage in a human prison. They feed me dry kibble and make me pee in a box of gravel.

[Ghlaghghee @Ghlaghghee]

*ghostly tweet just to make sure this account and its years of shenanigans aren't deleted for lack of use*

[Ghlaghghee @Ghlaghghee]

@scalzi Far too few murder plots to be cat tweets…

[Ghlaghghee @Ghlaghghee]

@scalzi @sfwa But it's clearly "The Ghlaghghee," for anyone unsure.

[Ghlaghghee @Ghlaghghee]

@ultragotha @ascalzi98 Nah, I like the girl. It's her sweaty keeper I loathe.

[Ghlaghghee @Ghlaghghee]

@lonelyrox @clevecasey @scalzi @cloverblob @zoiepalmer Follow? What, like we sniff each other's butts or something? That's dog nonsense.

[Ghlaghghee @Ghlaghghee]

@scalzi I have a special personal pronoun just for you. It sounds a lot like "HISSSSSSSSS".

[Ghlaghghee @Ghlaghghee]

@capt_hansen @scalzi @realgrumpycat I sleep 23 hours a day. Humans buy me all the food and catnip I want. Which cat is jealous again?

[Ghlaghghee @Ghlaghghee]

@derosajoe51 @Capt_Hansen @scalzi No, he bought a box. I stuffed him into it. Unfortunately, when I opened it, he was there. And alive.

[Ghlaghghee @Ghlaghghee]

I thought the Tormentor got Haden's and was locked in on the couch. Turns out he's just really lazy.

[Ghlaghghee @Ghlaghghee]

@scalzi It's admittedly difficult to kill you in your sleep when you don't sleep in my house. So yes, I'm "happy" you're home.

[Ghlaghghee @Ghlaghghee]

@scalzi I left a guest post in your office today. And by guest post, I mean large slimy hairball with some embedded mouse bones.

[Ghlaghghee @Ghlaghghee]

On "International Talk Like a Cat Day", everyone just glares at each other and growls. Also: Cats do it every day to celebrate our hatred.

[Ghlaghghee @Ghlaghghee]

@ascalzi98 Also get me some tuna.

[Ghlaghghee @Ghlaghghee]

@ascalzi98 I want you to pet me, but I don't want you to touch me with your disgusting human hands. Why is that hard to understand?!?!?

[Ghlaghghee @Ghlaghghee]

@scalzi Cats refer to that "essential part of global culture" as "the morons" — and then we all LOL.

[Ghlaghghee @Ghlaghghee]

@scalzi Or head may be more pin-like than assumed.

[Ghlaghghee @Ghlaghghee]

@ascalzi98 Sorry, that was actually Zeus' pathetic purr. It was probably him that bit you too.

[Ghlaghghee @Ghlaghghee]

The girl has a human driving-card thing now. She will be useful for creating alibis. And escape. Also catnip runs…

[Ghlaghghee @Ghlaghghee]

I released a helium balloon while it was raining this morning, hoping the Tormentor would drown while staring up at it.

[Ghlaghghee @Ghlaghghee]

@scalzi ON MY WAY!!!