gillian

big possessor and disseminator of gas

[gillian @GillianRGSmith]

nancy reagan’s got nothing on me

[henry the vacuum @henry_sux]

that rat bitch jolene did this

[gillian @GillianRGSmith]

@_shannonjones but it used to just have the separate little automatic button! only one step, no playlist screen

[gillian @GillianRGSmith]

My body is a machine that turns a slightly sore lip pimple into a bloody mass that will permanently scar

[gillian @GillianRGSmith]

@HiImMeg yeah. plus your freckles. can’t explain the freckle angle but I’m sure it’s true

[gillian @GillianRGSmith]

@brynn_vogel no idts!

[gillian @GillianRGSmith]

do you think raisins like being ripened in the sun or is it cruel to taunt them with beauty and warmth when they’re destined for my gullet

[Boze Herrington, Library Owl 😴🧙‍♀️ @SketchesbyBoze]

In Fahrenheit 451, the abolition of reading began with tech companies simplifying books into summaries that you could read in five minutes. Because people no longer engaged with the texts, they forgot how to think. Then came the book-burnings.

[gillian @GillianRGSmith]

God was kinda a freak for giving Adam morning wood

[trash jones @jzux]

“use AI or you’ll get left behind” oh no that’s ok you guys go on ahead i’ll be back here with my reading comprehension and critical thinking skills

[barbara johnson stan account @eleanoir]

im incredibly hormonal rn but i'm literally tearing up just thinking about wikipedia. what an incredible achievement. better than going to the moon, better than anything.

[Dr. Alex Zawacki @achillghost]

Grad school

[gillian @GillianRGSmith]

this cervix ain’t deep enough for the two of us

[gillian @GillianRGSmith]

don’t bother me tmr bc I’m not gonna sleep well tonight!! viscerally remembered that one day I’ll be dead forever

[mike ginn @shutupmikeginn]

my tax strategy is to go to a website i've never heard of before, enter all my most sensitive information, then hit the 'continue' button until i either get $1300 or go to jail

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

They should invent a body that isn’t the only one you get

[Gator Respecter @gatorrespectr]

Yeah I'm worried about tariffs

Worried that my weiner's gonna tariff I can't get all these bitches off it

[Dan Arrows @Dan_Arrows]

3 hour drive ahead and wife just asked why WW1 broke out

[Neil Renic @NC_Renic]

The two worst feelings in academia are writing and not writing