Gooner🔮

if you’re here, I hopefully made you laugh. so stick around

[Gooner🔮 @GirthNowitzki]

Me and my boys when Waka Waka came on #SuperBowl

[Gooner🔮 @GirthNowitzki]

Man why am I seeing “RIP Grammie” on someone’s tinder bio? Yeah I’m sorry for your loss now can we talk business 🤝

[Gooner🔮 @GirthNowitzki]

@DUALIPA could actually run a train on me and id apologize

[Arsenal @Arsenal]

Phew...

[Gooner🔮 @GirthNowitzki]

So much pain. Not worth it.

[Gooner🔮 @GirthNowitzki]

@ray_uku Banter FC is back and in business 😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓

[Gooner🔮 @GirthNowitzki]

😂very😂quirky😂and😂funny😂. People who find this funny deserve lethal injection no questions asked

[Gooner🔮 @GirthNowitzki]

Long car ride got me thinking how badly I need a bisexual woman who hasn’t shaved her pits in years (social conformity doesn’t scare her) who wants to sing Katy Perry 🤝

[Gooner🔮 @GirthNowitzki]

Valentines Day 2020 about to be a movie

[Gooner🔮 @GirthNowitzki]

Just saw a girl holding 4 textbooks, her laptop, and a water bottle all while balancing a cup of coffee on her books. I saw her stop in front of a door so I was gonna run and help her but before I could she PULLED a door open with her FOOT. I’ve been a feminist since.

[Gooner🔮 @GirthNowitzki]

Friend asked for a broom, I said “of course mate no worries.” And felt warm in my heart. Just saw he used it for a TikTok. Snapped the broom and burned it. My broom will not be a TikTok thot

[Gooner🔮 @GirthNowitzki]

Outside my dorm I’ve been hearing “Renegade renegade renegade” for the past 30 minutes. My hall is all dudes. There are a group of dudes doing the renegade dance outside my dorm. Am I living in a simulation? Is this real? If so please end it all

[Gooner🔮 @GirthNowitzki]

Commented “beautiful 😍” on my girls IG and she deleted the whole post. Haha god she’s so great

[Gooner🔮 @GirthNowitzki]

Just took a practice test for Philosophy and genuinely got all 40 questions wrong. Super excited for the test tomorrow!!!!!

[Gooner🔮 @GirthNowitzki]

His phone: My World ❤️💍😍🥰

Her phone: [phone]

[Gooner🔮 @GirthNowitzki]

Mom said, “Josh who shit on the floor?”

I said “call me John...cause I ain’t Cena thing😳✊🏾💯”

[Gooner🔮 @GirthNowitzki]

Officer, are you gonna believe me or some stands of DNA at the scene of the murder 🤝

[Gooner🔮 @GirthNowitzki]

The kid wouldn’t be safe either https://t.co/ekdQjOebkq

[Gooner🔮 @GirthNowitzki]

Grandpa: “what do you wanna massage today buddy.”

Me:

[Gooner🔮 @GirthNowitzki]

I just don’t care anymore. Gonna go pee my pants or something

[Gooner🔮 @GirthNowitzki]

Me in the back of class after getting a 27 on the first test