melon head

being a bad bitch is intersectional

[gaz @gazpachomachine]

Shower Food Review 42: Giant Sour Gummy Worm - This was the most shame I've ever felt in the shower. I'm worried even God won't forgive me for this one. My ex girlfriend is moving out soon and she saw me eating this. The look on her face said "I made the right choice." 7/10

[melon head @GivenEmMel]

Imagine going in for an adhd diagnosis and coming out with bipolar. Because that shit just happened to me 😂

[melon head @GivenEmMel]

Went to dinner for my birthday. I paid for the table with my CC and when I went to pay off the dinner, I was never charged. I even tried calling multiple times to make sure I had paid. No one cared. So thanks for the free food!!

[The Drunk Jake @TheDrunkJake]

no YOU live in a state of DENIAL

I live in MARGARITAVILLE

[Does Noodle Have Bones @NoodlesBonesDay]

Noodle passed away yesterday. The sweet old man brought us all so much joy, celebrate him today and celebrate your own babies at home. Please allow Jonathan the space to grieve and keep him and his close ones in your hearts today.

[Drewberz @buddy_ferrara]

thankful for mashed potatoes

[matt bernstein @mattxiv]

hello to everyone on their phones in the bathroom

[danlet @evildanevil]

You can tell a lot about a person by violating HIPAA

[CAPYBARA MAN @CAPYBARA_MAN]

“don’t go alone, take this”

[August @augustep11]

You either date Pete Davidson or have a baby with Nick Cannon. Those are the only two life paths for women

[Willie Muse @Williesillie2]

Someone got visited by 3 ghosts last night

[matt bernstein @mattxiv]

will be thinking about heidi klum’s worm costume for the next several days

[morgan @morganmibi21]

me omw to instagram headquarters after they disabled my account for absolutely no reason #instagramdown

[sparsh kanak @kanak_sparsh]

Me trying to recover my Instagram account
#instagramdown

[sila puhl @c_lapuhl]

(flirting with a short king) hiiiii pspspsps