CJ Keenan (@goaterz.bsky.social)

They/them

[CJ Keenan (@goaterz.bsky.social) @Goaterz]

I'm gonna ride this out to the end, but here's other places you can find me

I'm much more active on tumblr and deviantart @/Goaterz

Instagram is anemic but I do post there occasionally @/cj.keenan

[renn @zeroedmymind]

It’s so strange that suicide now is always my plan B in everything. I just do daily things and whenever something goes wrong my mind instantly suggests “let’s kill ourselves!” and it’s strange that i normalized it so badly that i don’t even think of the reason behind such thought

[☔ @Whotfismick]

My parents launching me into adulthood after overprotecting me my whole life

[JΛCΞ @jaceels2]

suicidal ideation is crazy cause why am i eating a breakfast english muffin and thinking about blowing my shit smoove off. like nothing bad is even happening

[julie @helencftroy]

being proven again and again and again that your family doesn’t like you is a humiliation ritual and if you’re unfortunate enough to have a pure heart it will never cease hurting you

[vivi @mooncatvivi]

i hope something kills me soon or someone finds something within me lovable so that i may have a reason to keep living & to be thought of kindly

[ཐི kelsey ཋྀ @pixyrot]

“everybody fucking hates me” was ingrained in me at 8 years old so now to this day no matter how close someone is to me i will always wonder if they actually like being my friend

[🌺💐Lycheee!💐🌺 @Neo_Finetia]

I did nothing as a teen. No crushes, no dating, wasn’t invited to parties, third wheeled every friend group. I was a living ghost of a person.

[covid is oncogenic @chaitrovert]

my childhood left me thinking ppl just don't include me or my feelings/opinions in their life plans, i'm always worth sacrificing to other ppl for a job or a relationship or whatever opportunity that requires them going MIA from my life for however long they want

[yana @Madame_Ennui]

When people say “you need to just unlearn your trauma and go to therapy, you’re an adult” they seem to think there’s a magical therapy switch where you go to therapy and within 180 days you just become a more socially acceptable person that’s released their baggage

[vivi @mooncatvivi]

i wish i knew how to exist w/o feeling this perpetual sense of shame & disgust like i have to constantly justify my reason for existence & how much space i deserve to take up & being myself. somewhere i began believing i only deserve to exist if i make myself as small as possible

[pep 🐟 @SUBMARINER1941]

having the type of autism where i’m socially isolated, emotionally stunted & have emotional outbursts, can’t make eye contact or hold a conversation and struggle to verbally express myself but because i can speak and dress myself i’m expected to suck it up and act normal

[ADONIS / GIGI 🐯🌈 @rainbow_tigre]

Growing up #neurodivergent

[trblrbl @troublerbl]

“who gave birth to me? whose fault is it that I'm like this? It was yours that I've been paying for it. People out there avoid me, they're scared of me, and they mock me but my mother is the one who truly hates me and looks down on me….I’ve never asked for this life” —Big World

[vivi @mooncatvivi]

many times a week i come to the awful realization that no one is coming to save me no one knows how truly miserable i am & this really is all there is to my life

[camila mermet @pidoelsilencio]

el otro día le explicaba a un amigo que estoy triste como de base y los otros estados de ánimo pasan más rápido, como transitorios, entonces estoy contenta un rato, ansiosa un rato, alegre un rato pero en el fondo siempre estoy triste

[detach @detachdaily]

you ever get to a point where you stop talking about what’s hurting you because you already know the response won’t make you feel any less alone

[27. @dimvji]

watching your potential fade away due to your mental health is a different type of grief ’cause you can only imagine what could’ve been while watching yourself slowly die inside

[໊ @soysabil]

“slut era” i say as i rot and decay in my bedroom and watch the years pass me by as i miss out on core experiences other people my age are having while i think about the past

[saz @emorollll]

its strange realizing ur in one of the bad periods of ur life while its actively happening. like oh this is going to leave a mark on me forever isnt it