Gob Phlegm

Every day is a winding road

[Gob Phlegm @GobPhlegm]

@Daily_Express Oh Carol, what have you done to your face?

[Gob Phlegm @GobPhlegm]

@davidschneider I find David Schneider to be a bit creepy tbh

[Gob Phlegm @GobPhlegm]

@davidschneider David, you kinky so-and-so

#superinjunction

[Gob Phlegm @GobPhlegm]

@dailystar Thank god for Photoshop in these hard times

[Gob Phlegm @GobPhlegm]

@WhoresofYore "Self-isolation. Day 13."

[Gob Phlegm @GobPhlegm]

@WhoresofYore "Preparation H. Available from all good chemists."

[Gob Phlegm @GobPhlegm]

@Pandamoanimum or "TESTED POSITIVE"

[Gob Phlegm @GobPhlegm]

@ronniewood I'm just surprised that Ronnie Wood lives so close to a busy road

[Gob Phlegm @GobPhlegm]

@GlennWool @GeoffNorcott There is no funnier fart than a dog's fart

[Gob Phlegm @GobPhlegm]

@bbclaurak @BegumNadiya The winner of The Great British Bake Off 2015?

🙄

[Gob Phlegm @GobPhlegm]

@johnmcdonnellMP @UKLabour Thank you John. What would we do without you.

#YouTwat

[Gob Phlegm @GobPhlegm]

@JuliaHB1 "What a time to be alive."

What a time to be ill

[Gob Phlegm @GobPhlegm]

@George_Osborne @EveningStandard Hoorah! We're saved!

🙄

[Gob Phlegm @GobPhlegm]

@Madonna Ha ha. Nice try, but you look nothing like Madonna!

[Gob Phlegm @GobPhlegm]

@BBCArchive Fred was created by an expert

[Gob Phlegm @GobPhlegm]

#covidiot

[Gob Phlegm @GobPhlegm]

@thedailybeast "according to his family"

I sense you have doubts.

[Gob Phlegm @GobPhlegm]

@Madonna Oh Madonna, what have you done to your beautiful face

[Gob Phlegm @GobPhlegm]

@Daily_Express no hips no boobs

[Gob Phlegm @GobPhlegm]

@archillect