Goofy C*nt Nation

Just being silly.

[Goofy C*nt Nation @GoofyCnt]

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce spotted at Rise of the Resistance @Disneyland explains all the closures today

[Goofy C*nt Nation @GoofyCnt]

Matcha lattes: real life proof that sometimes foods that look gross can taste even worse

[Goofy C*nt Nation @GoofyCnt]

Behind every powerful umami there is an understanding udaddi

[Goofy C*nt Nation @GoofyCnt]

Speakeasies should exist for things other than bars. I want to step into a washing machine to check out a book

[Goofy C*nt Nation @GoofyCnt]

Any man that orders a coffee with the words ��shaken” “maple” or “oat” should be imprisoned

[Goofy C*nt Nation @GoofyCnt]

Every friend group needs at least one doctor for free medical advice, one lawyer for free legal advice, and one DJ in case aliens come and demand a sacrifice

[Goofy C*nt Nation @GoofyCnt]

My ex was a cheater which by the end of the relationship was the only thing we had in common

[Goofy C*nt Nation @GoofyCnt]

Turns out I’ve using the expression “cleans up nicely” wrong. No wonder my mom stopped leaving me home alone with our housekeeper

[Goofy C*nt Nation @GoofyCnt]

I have a new crush which is really exciting for everyone except the guy I’m dating

[Goofy C*nt Nation @GoofyCnt]

My safe space is the nut butter aisle in Whole Foods

[Goofy C*nt Nation @GoofyCnt]

I always wait until the third time we have sex to go on a date

[Goofy C*nt Nation @GoofyCnt]

Between Memorial Day, Fathers Day, and July 4th, you really begin to wonder if this country is controlled by Big Barbecue

[Goofy C*nt Nation @GoofyCnt]

Why is my thought process always “I probably shouldn’t drink bc I’m sick so what are five far more dangerous drugs I can do instead?”

[Goofy C*nt Nation @GoofyCnt]

I would never own a gun bc I don’t trust myself to use it responsibly. Like I would definitely accidentally use it for self defense or hunting game instead of killing kids like god intended

[Goofy C*nt Nation @GoofyCnt]

Running at night just so I can feel something (fear)

[Goofy C*nt Nation @GoofyCnt]

Sometimes I wonder if men’s restrooms also have signs that ask to refrain from flushing masculine products down the toilet cuz how else will they what to do with their Lakers snapback

[Goofy C*nt Nation @GoofyCnt]

Girlies talk about their film cameras the way Southerners go on about their guns. They’ll be like "It's a 35mm, got it from my grandfather, but still shoots great"

[Isabel Steckel @IsabelSteckel]

“can everyone look away please” - me about to kiss my husband at my wedding

[Goofy C*nt Nation @GoofyCnt]

Hey babe want to come over to Netflix and kill?

[Goofy C*nt Nation @GoofyCnt]

How does the expression go? Do what you love and then anytime you try and do it for fun it will feel like work