Grant Lease

✍️ Director of De for All Things Comedy
🔎 Creator, "Why Do We Like"
🎵 Musician / Composer

[Grant Lease @GrantLease]

Proud of another new piece on slackjaw_humor! Even Satan got a little stir crazy in times like these. Be like The Dark Lord and do some brainstorming of your own during these fell days! ~LinK In bIO~
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#satire… https://t.co/velQWRuBNw

[Grant Lease @GrantLease]

Pass the plague and disinfect your wilted spirits with my newest piece on slackjaw_humor! Link in bio -- claps on the piece will be rewarded with Blarney stones and actual pots of gold. The first few hours up are… https://t.co/Ii5et1i8kc

[Grant Lease @GrantLease]

What's another word for thesaurus?

[Grant Lease @GrantLease]

Suzanne Collins is going to be doing a prequel to the Hunger Games trilogy, set 64 years before the initial novel. Its working title?
"Games"

[Grant Lease @GrantLease]

The Supreme Court has ruled that no inmate has a right to a painless death. A weird verdict, but not entirely unexpected. Conservatives are anticipating a similar move in the next SCOTUS case regarding marriage

[Grant Lease @GrantLease]

Brexit has failed to get through Parliament once again. It just seems impossible to get this thing to pass. It’s like a scandalous kidney stone.

[Grant Lease @GrantLease]

@SpikeChunsoft_e Hi again! How best to get in touch with someone from your team regarding the rights to one of your projects? Feel free to DM. Thanks in advance!

[Grant Lease @GrantLease]

@SpikeChunsoft_e Hi there, writing you from Brillstein Entertainment. Trying to do a rights check on one of your properties. Could you please DM me to discuss? Cheers xx

[Grant Lease @GrantLease]

@NISAmerica Hi there! DM'd a business inquiry. Please respond at your next convenience.

[Robot Butt @thisisrobotbutt]

Millennial Ways to End a Relationship https://t.co/GiRZk5N8ah by @GrantLease

[Grant Lease @GrantLease]

If the "new you" of 2019 is actually a banshee living in your walls, we at medium can help. Link 👏🏻 in 👏🏻 bio 👏🏻 you 👏🏻 optimistic 👏🏻 Ghostbusters 👏🏻
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#comedy #haha #funny #birdbox… https://t.co/iqcLuzZSLy

[Grant Lease @GrantLease]

Ho ho how about I really ruin the fun traditions my family enjoys just so I feel superior? Shout out to my intolerable teenage self who inspired this piece. Excited to have another work… https://t.co/2MZ5UY6NuW

[Grant Lease @GrantLease]

We all agree that "lol" looks like a dude drowning and crying for help, right? We've been laughing at his pain for all these years.

[Grant Lease @GrantLease]

App idea: tell your travel story in 3 dong pics. The name? Tripdick. #innovation #nextfacebook

[Grant Lease @GrantLease]

A sad new report shows that arctic reindeer numbers have crashed by half in the past two decades due to climate change.

Blitzen’s funeral will be on the 26th.

[Grant Lease @GrantLease]

At least this would explain “The Climb.” Seriously, if all it took to find success in Hollywood was some Satan worship, LA would turn into the Devil’s Vatican.
https://t.co/jvTU0DdcUu

[Grant Lease @GrantLease]

Michael Cohen has officially been sentenced to 3 years in prison. Or, as Trump will soon call it, “the length of his presidency”

[Grant Lease @GrantLease]

So thousands of mail-in ballots in Florida weren’t counted this election. Why can’t that state figure out democracy? Democrats are this close to building a ‘Chad’ effigy and hanging it in protest.

[Grant Lease @GrantLease]

Not even the CDC can stop Americans from eating raw cookie dough. It’s nuts. They can stop Ebola but are powerless against the munchies. This is why, when I have kids, we will refer to it solely as “cookie fetus.” That’s what I call family planning.

[Grant Lease @GrantLease]

Over 12 million pounds of beef are being recalled over salmonella concerns right now. If you listen closely, you can hear the sound of Dwayne Johnson's pecs shrinking.