Minor Local Celebrity

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[Minor Local Celebrity @GuerrillaNaps]

That sigh of relief that passes between you and your taxi driver when you both realize it’s safe to spend the rest of your drive to the airport talking shit about Trump

[Minor Local Celebrity @GuerrillaNaps]

@heyguys_heyguys One of my clients told me that she had a nightmare in which I made her dog wear one almost exactly like that

[Minor Local Celebrity @GuerrillaNaps]

@CJDeR53 @DemocracyDocket https://t.co/mvwohAkIAf

[Minor Local Celebrity @GuerrillaNaps]

Liberals when they see a state continuing the racial oppression that has been its guiding purpose since its inception as a slave state: “Wow I can’t believe how far our country has fallen in the past six years 😔“

[Minor Local Celebrity @GuerrillaNaps]

Well, then! I’ll just pack up my highly trained cat circus and go home

[Minor Local Celebrity @GuerrillaNaps]

Ugh lol I’m such a bad procrastinator. Easter is this weekend and I still haven’t bought drugs to hide in my nearby church’s egg hunt this year

[Minor Local Celebrity @GuerrillaNaps]

Liberals when they see a state continuing the racial oppression that has been its guiding purpose since its inception as a slave state: “Wow I can’t believe how far our country has fallen in the past six years 😔“

[Minor Local Celebrity @GuerrillaNaps]

@CJDeR53 @DemocracyDocket The folks who live in Mississippi have known this for generations. Stop blaming the victim, Deborah.

[Minor Local Celebrity @GuerrillaNaps]

@jimprov Still Solondz’s best work

[Minor Local Celebrity @GuerrillaNaps]

Imagine if some railroad baron in the 1890s petulantly routed all of his trains through Chicago because his ex lived there and he was trying to get her attention

[Minor Local Celebrity @GuerrillaNaps]

All canines are beautiful (photo: @contentlove

[Minor Local Celebrity @GuerrillaNaps]

@AdeanaFeral @ghostingeffect You’ll have a wonderful time in Spain among the other non-Spanish speaking brits

[Minor Local Celebrity @GuerrillaNaps]

Calm down. There’ll be another coronation in 18 months when old sausage fingers kicks the bucket

[Minor Local Celebrity @GuerrillaNaps]

We should teach other classics as well, but having concepts and characters just floating through pop culture context-free is really bad

[Minor Local Celebrity @GuerrillaNaps]

The number of people with Spartan profiles calling people groomers is the best leftist argument for teaching the western canon

[Minor Local Celebrity @GuerrillaNaps]

Russian novels these days, all full up with wistful characters dying of consumption because their temperaments are too sensitive for this world. But lemme tell you something. I’ve got tuberculosis myself and I still can’t write poetry for shit.

[Minor Local Celebrity @GuerrillaNaps]

@ghostingeffect Many of us spent our entire childhood going on field trips to boring revolutionary war sites. Please do not erase our suffering

[Minor Local Celebrity @GuerrillaNaps]

@contentlove Ok. Now is the time for congratulations. May all your eggs hatch!

[Minor Local Celebrity @GuerrillaNaps]

Me, the rest of the year: Deeply unserious goofball

Me April 1: Cease your japery. Pranks are the lowest form of humor.

[Minor Local Celebrity @GuerrillaNaps]

@contentlove Not today. Try again tomorrow

[Minor Local Celebrity @GuerrillaNaps]

@nick_giraffe @atomicpunk1312 Why hasn’t anyone Dewey Decimalized the right yet?