Chelsea Gue

So, the internet's a weird place. 🍌

[Chelsea Gue @Guester_]

A baby barfs on their clothes & everyone stops & runs to the rescue. I barf on my clothes & everybody boos & says I need to "leave the bar."

[Variety @Variety]

"'Succession' without writers is just 'The Apprentice,' and look how THAT worked out," reads a sign from the writers picket line in Hollywood. https://t.co/2mx1TyHf1T

[Chelsea Gue @Guester_]

All of America when Matt on #TheBachelor gave Bri the rose on the group date:

[Chelsea Gue @Guester_]

#TheBachelor producers: “You guys are doing something super special today. Maybe wear like an elegant cream sweater?”

The date:

[Chelsea Gue @Guester_]

#TheBachelor producers: “we have 5 new women to join your journey to find love”
Matt: “Trust the journey ladies”

Matt immediately after that:

[Kamala Harris @KamalaHarris]

While I may be the first, I won’t be the last.

[Whitney Cummings @WhitneyCummings]

It’s not a women job to fix misogyny. Even if it was we wouldn’t get paid as much as men so why don’t you guys just do it

[Chelsea Gue @Guester_]

@emilyrschmidt

[Chelsea Gue @Guester_]

@hasanminhaj @patriotact tell me you’re watching the justice department oversight house judiciary hearing on @cspan

[BTPM News @BTPMNews]

GRAPHIC VIDEO: Buffalo police officers violently shove man onto ground https://t.co/y8x7iC922E

[Chelsea Gue @Guester_]

I feel this multiple times per day:

Oh, that’s a cute [neon sweat outfit]! What could I need more in this time of nothingness than a [sweat outfit]? *Swipe up* Oh damn, just the [sweatshirt] is [any price above free but always $125]? Wow. Like I’m made of money. Rude. Goodbye.

[Tess Gattuso @tessplease]

gay bffs? not as magical as sex & the city said

[Chelsea Gue @Guester_]

@taylor_evers

[Chelsea Gue @Guester_]

Part of me wants to take the high road. Part of me wants to go to Instagram and report old photos of us as spam just for gigs.

[Chelsea Gue @Guester_]

I discovered the disturbing world of the “I’m gross” on @GIPHY and I’ve now seen a whale explode

[Chelsea Gue @Guester_]

Me after drinking my weight in champagne last night.

[Chelsea Gue @Guester_]

I was screamed at, over the phone, by a woman when I told her we wouldn’t kick her out of the restaurant I work for at any particular time & my low bun is being held together by a toothpick still in the plastic. How’s your day?

[Chelsea Gue @Guester_]

Mom: About tomorrow morning.
Me: I signed up for both exercise classes.
Mom: Here’s how it’s going to go. When you get up, don’t step, glide your feet. We can’t wake her. (Points to the dog) We will sneak down the stairs, out the front door and quietly. You drive.

[Chelsea Gue @Guester_]

Shoutout to all the women making sure they get under the straps when helping reapply sunscreen.

[Chelsea Gue @Guester_]

I was having anxiety attack so I sat with my Dad who had on @TheEllenShow’s “Relatable.” I laughed so hard I simply forgot to be anxious. Then, immediately after the remote died & a preview for Birdbox autoplayed full screen. Now I’m trying to locate a single working battery like