Imma Gardener

Guru of all things running and gardening.

[Imma Gardener @Guruofrunning]

@jmarpdx You are a bumbling idiot. Stop spewing your nonsense. I'd rather read more #poopgate takes.

[Imma Gardener @Guruofrunning]

@LRCNebraska Kanye West saw Jesus once.

[Imma Gardener @Guruofrunning]

@LRCNebraska @usatf There's also a former tennis player, wrestler, and jellyfish catcher running as well. #giddyup

[Imma Gardener @Guruofrunning]

@RunLincoln @OmahaRunClub @KansasCitySmoke @LRCNebraska

[Imma Gardener @Guruofrunning]

I measured it again.(not my dong)

25.75 miles. Come knock your PR out of the park on this certified course! @7lakesmarathon

[Imma Gardener @Guruofrunning]

Crap, we re-measured the @7lakesmarathon marathon course 3 times today and had the following results:

27.3
26.9
3.14 (used my dong)

[Imma Gardener @Guruofrunning]

Sooooo.....

[Imma Gardener @Guruofrunning]

Please come run the @7lakesmarathon @Roly_Poly_Noly
#hometown

[Imma Gardener @Guruofrunning]

My dong has reached full rager twice this week thinking about someone running a 2:12 marathon on Nebraska soil, errr concrete.@7lakesmarathon #300runnersyay!

[Imma Gardener @Guruofrunning]

Like @kanyewest said, "Who gon' stop me huh?" #noflood + #nocovid = #1overhypedmarathon

[Imma Gardener @Guruofrunning]

Ever wonder why so many elite runners are joining us the 1st annual @7lakesmarathon marathon? #metoo

[Imma Gardener @Guruofrunning]

@_jcarpenter_ @mescottdouglas Congrats on the MBA. Perhaps then it is your lack of real life experience that caused you to severely underestimate this schools leadership and ability to hire competent decision makers.

[Imma Gardener @Guruofrunning]

@_jcarpenter_ @sarahrenae709 Are they accrual basis?

[Imma Gardener @Guruofrunning]

What happens if ZERO people vote?@POTUS @realDonaldTrump

[Imma Gardener @Guruofrunning]

@CoachAlanBishop @Roly_Poly_Noly Dude, with so many Sally's in the world today, the chances of raising a 5 star athlete is more likely than raising a 5 star human.

[Imma Gardener @Guruofrunning]

@FauxTimMeyer Don't steal the patented words of a dear friend of mine. #sticktobananabread

[Imma Gardener @Guruofrunning]

@realDonaldTrump Don't come here!

[Imma Gardener @Guruofrunning]

@SpeakerPelosi When is the last time you got laid?

[Imma Gardener @Guruofrunning]

@realDonaldTrump Can we play #tummysticks