Monté Carlos

Get off Twitter and go pray. And make sure the prayer makes sense. Heathens.

[Monté Carlos @HAICofPrayer]

Make sure y’all brush your teeth and say your prayers before you go to bed tonight. Don’t forget to floss too. Ya nasty heathens. #colgate #brushyourteeth #prayersup #bedtime #nightnight #sleep #getsomerest #staywoke

[Monté Carlos @HAICofPrayer]

Pray for all the people that still had to go to work today. #PresidentsDay2018 #BarackObama #BillClinton #AbrahamLincoln #WorkLifeBalance

[Monté Carlos @HAICofPrayer]

Y’all paid plenty money to spend time in Wakanda this weekend... but we know whether or not you tithed this morning. #Tithing #10Percent #GodsPlan #TaxSeason #PayGodFirst #BlackPanther #WakandaForever

[Monté Carlos @HAICofPrayer]

Make sure you bless the food after you sneak a plate into the theater this weekend. #BlackPanther #WakandaForever

[Monté Carlos @HAICofPrayer]

Even angels need a vacation, heathens. I’m back.

[Monté Carlos @HAICofPrayer]

We got all your prayers about that football game. Yeah, we know half of you are upset. BUT GOD ALWAYS HAS A PLAN. #CFBChampionship

[Monté Carlos @HAICofPrayer]

We see y’all gettin’ frisky since the snow got ya trapped inside, but ya better be married if you making them babies. #SnowedIn #GodStillDontLikeUglyThough #HeWillBlessYouWithAnUglyBaby

[Monté Carlos @HAICofPrayer]

Y’all best leave them water pipes drippin’ tonight so the prayer request line don’t get backed up in the morning. #LetItSnow #BURR

[Monté Carlos @HAICofPrayer]

I’M BACK, YA HEATHENS. Even angels need vacations too. Don’t worry - we heard you prayin’ for a new man and a new car and a new president this year. BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU PRAY FOR. #HappyNewYear

[Monté Carlos @HAICofPrayer]

The week just started and y’all out here actin’ a fool already. Y’all better get prayed up this week ‘cause you never know when the big J gon’ be back (This man been gone for years like some of your daddies been). #BlessUp

[Monté Carlos @HAICofPrayer]

We heard you bad mouthin’ ya neighbor’s kids while you was in service this morning, but we know where all ya dollar bills were gettin’ thrown the night before. You better check yourself. #MakeItRain #WatchThatMouth

[Monté Carlos @HAICofPrayer]

It’s Friday. The Lord sees ya staring at that girl from across the bar at Happy Hour. YA BETTER KEEP THEM EYES (AND YA HANDS) TO YOURSELF.

[Monté Carlos @HAICofPrayer]

Y’all are mighty concerned about this @Avengers #InfinityWar trailer coming out tomorrow, but you need to be worried about the war for your souls. #SpiritualWarfare #ThanosDidntTurnWaterIntoWine

[Monté Carlos @HAICofPrayer]

Just because it’s Cyber Monday don’t mean you can leave your cart any which way in the Wal-Mart parking lot. You better return it before Jesus returns to put ya in ya place. #CyberMonday #GreatValue #CartReturn

[Monté Carlos @HAICofPrayer]

Hope y’all tithed today. Then again, we know who did and who didn’t... #TenPercent #OffTheGross

[Monté Carlos @HAICofPrayer]

Y’all need Jesus #HAIC