Wrongtown

he/him (or they/them if that's easier)

[Bexxy @Bexxy__19]

UPDATE ON GERALD AND THE CROW SITUATION:

Things have escalated.

I repeat.

THINGS HAVE FUCKING ESCALATED.

For those of you just joining us, yesterday I accidentally entered into diplomatic relations with a gang of crows after Gerald stole my good spoon.

Well.

This morning I walked outside and Gerald was waiting for me.

Alone.

Standing directly in the middle of my driveway.

No screaming.

No hopping around.

Just staring at me like a tiny feathered loan shark who had come to collect.

I said, “Morning, Gerald.”

He tilted his head.

I gave him a walnut.

He did not eat it.

Instead, this motherfucker picked it up, walked three steps to the left, PUT IT DOWN, and stared at me again.

Message received.

The offering was insufficient.

So I went back inside and got more walnuts.

When I returned…

THERE WERE NINE CROWS.

Nine.

Yesterday there were seven.

Gerald is fucking recruiting.

And they were arranged in a SEMICIRCLE.

This isn’t a bird friendship anymore.

I’m funding organized crime.

I distributed the walnuts because apparently I pay protection money now.

Everything seemed fine until one of the smaller crows tried taking two.

Gerald immediately screamed at him.

The little one dropped the second walnut.

I have accidentally created an economy.

Gerald controls distribution.

There’s a hierarchy.

There are consequences.

I’m pretty sure I witnessed a disciplinary hearing before breakfast.

Then Gerald flew away.

I thought we were done.

WE WERE NOT DONE.

Twenty minutes later I looked outside and there was something sitting where Gerald had been standing.

A bottle cap.

A shiny rock.

And…

MY FUCKING SPOON.

HE RETURNED THE SPOON.

Ladies and gentlemen.

I believe we have successfully negotiated a trade agreement.

Unfortunately, there is now a crow sitting on my mailbox.

So I still cannot get my fucking mail.

I tried approaching.

He puffed up.

I backed away.

That mailbox belongs to the organization now.

At this point I’m just a tenant.

Anyway, Gerald has officially been promoted to General Gerald, Commander of the Driveway, First of His Name, Keeper of the Good Spoon, Lord of the Power Line, Collector of Walnuts, and Regional Manager of Whatever The Fuck Is Happening Here.

I’ll keep everyone updated.

But if I suddenly stop posting…

Gerald found out I told you.

[Jamison Daniel @AntiquarianMuse]

This is BRILLIANT.

[pokey pup @Whatapityonyou]

This AI shit is so bleak.

[Christian Nightmares @ChristnNitemare]

Not all heroes wear capes!

[Anna Vanston @goombanna]

Want to know where the most liminal and creepy spots in Mario Kart 8 are? 🏎️😨

Maybe you still aren’t sure exactly what a liminal space *is*? 🤔

I gotchu!
https://t.co/H5sQ13rEVl

[Royally Sage @sage1411]

My brother posts this every year in the family chat on the 4th. Still hilarious.

[Olly Robinson @OLLYROBZ]

⚠️ Streamers! ⚠️ If you've been having unpredictable stream crashes after seeing "Encoding overloaded!" in OBS: over the past few months, me and FIVE pals have been surprised to find Game Mode had turned itself back on and was 100% the cause - so here's something to try... [1/3]

[meme bastard 🍕 @mask_bastard]

if I just think of this I start giggling to myself

[Maryam @hell_line0]

2022: “Stop overreacting, they won’t overturn Roe.”
They did.

2023: “Stop overreacting, they won’t let women die rather than get an abortion.”
They did.

2024: “Stop overreacting, they won’t arrest women for miscarriages.”
They did.

2025: “Stop overreacting, they won’t turn women into incubators.”
They did.

2026: “Stop overreacting, they won’t attack mifepristone.”
They did, today.

Now: “Stop overreacting, they won’t go after birth control next.”
They will.

[Yining Karl Li @yiningkarlli]

For the ASL remakes, Disney Animation resurrected the original data and pipeline version, reanimated (from near scratch in many places), relit where needed, and re-rendered. Probably the hardest way to do this, but definitely the right way to do it, so that's what we did.

[Wholesome Side of 𝕏 @itsme_urstruly]

I love when people fall out laughing.
I love how much we can’t control ourselves in this moment. It’s one of my favorite feelings.
Re-telling this story would not do it justice. This is really a "You had to be there" moment. Lol

[𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚆𝙷𝙸𝚃𝙴 𝚁𝙰𝙱𝙱𝙸𝚃 @thewhiterabbit]

Finally 👏👏👏

[Jesus Freakin Congress @TheJFreakinC]

This is the funniest thing I’ve seen on the internet.

Afroman had his house raided by Ohio Adam County deputies… who found absolutely nothing… broke his door, trashed his place, allegedly had $400 go missing… and then they refused to pay for the damages.

So, like any reasonable rapper would do…

He turned his home security footage into music videos, mocking them.

And then, the deputies sued him for FOUR MILLION dollars… because they didn’t like being made fun of.

And Afroman’s response?

He dropped ANOTHER music video.

In his own words:
“Unconfidential informant lied to Police to get out of some trouble. Adam County Sherriff officers made a mistake by believing the lie. Raided my house, found nothing, refused to pay for the damages and filed a lawsuit against me, Afroman, for exercising my freedom of speech! This is me holding trial in one song. I hope you enjoy it.”

They said his videos “ridiculed” them… so he decided to show them what that actually looks like.

And the best part?

A jury basically said… yeah… you don’t get to raid someone’s home, end up in their surveillance footage, and then cry because they used it to make fun of you.

[Wrongtown @HOU5E]

@princesalamwane Nah, he's just not particularly bright and has chosen this particular hill to die on for some reason 🤷‍♂️

[We Draw Cats 🐾 @WeAssessCats]

She’s too smart.

[The Lunduke Journal @LundukeJournal]

Windows Notepad.exe now has a remote code execution vulnerability.

You read that right.

Notepad.exe, which used to be a simple text editor, has had so many network connect features added (including AI and Microsoft account subscriptions)… that it now has security vulnerabilities.

This CVE is rated as “SEVERE” and given an 8.8 score.

https://t.co/0FMfoho7f9

[vx-underground @vxunderground]

Yeah, so pretty much, like, there is this really sketchy company in Israel named "Paragon". Paragon sells a "product" called GRAPHITE.

Let me explain the background and why this is very silly.

GRAPHITE spyware which allows "customers" to remotely access peoples cell phones and monitor their instant messaging applications such as WhatsApp

It is spyware. It is sometimes called Mercenary Spyware because it is primarily used by governments to spy on political enemies, journalists, and activists.

Very little is known about Paragon, GRAPHITE, and their "customers". However, it was publicly noted by the Trump administration in January, 2025, to be purchased by the United States government and to be used to aid ICE.

Furthermore, in September 2025 the Trump administration noted the usage of Graphite to aid the United States against "domestic terrorist organizations" such as "ANTIFA".

ICE acting director Todd Lyons noted using GRAPHITE to monitor anti-ICE protestors to track "ringleaders and professional agitators".

Citizen Lab and other civil rights organizations have documented the usage of GRAPHITE against individuals in Australia, Canada, Cyprus, Denmark, Israel, Singapore and (unsurprisingly) the United States. It is believed the Canadian government actively uses GRAPHITE in Ontario.

Okay, so why does all of this matter? Yeah, it's super fucked up. But today representatives from Paragon accidentally leaked GRAPHITE screenshots ... ON LINKEDIN. Dawg, that image in the background IS GOVERNMENT FUCKING SPYWARE

It shows phone numbers in Czechia, apps, accounts, media on the phone, "interception status", and phone numbers extracted. THEY LEAKED IT BY ACCIDENT ON LINKEDIN WHILE TAKING SELFIES

[Asanwa @Chizitere_xyz]

Let’s be clear about something that society likes to dance around:

When a teenager develops a crush on you, it is not a compliment to your status, your looks, or your "game." It is a test of your integrity, one that far too many adults are failing.
​That child is not looking for a partner; they are looking for validation, often mimicking what they see on screens, completely unaware of the power dynamics they are walking into. They are naive, but you are not.

​Your job as the adult in the room isn’t to "play along" because it strokes your ego or use the loophole of "well, they made the first move." Your moral obligation is to be the hard boundary that they don’t have the wisdom to set for themselves yet.

​Treat them like a younger sibling. Ignore the advances. Shut it down. Because 10 years from now, when the confusion of puberty fades, that person will look back at you.
​Do you want them to remember a safe adult who protected them from their own foolishness? Or do you want to be the villain in their therapy session who took advantage of a child who didn’t know any better?

[Bill Madden @maddenifico]

With ZERO fucks left to give, this young badass just schooled every bootlicking MAGA Nazi in America. 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥👇