hales

rich in grace || mrs. bear || carnivore || anti-jaywalk

[hales @HaleyHeyYou]

If I ever discovered my own mountain, I would name it Mt. Tin.

[hales @HaleyHeyYou]

Watch any of the Iron Man movies and you’ll know Iron Man works hard, but Jarvis works harder

[hales @HaleyHeyYou]

We now own an illegal book AND it's freaking FAHRENHEIT 451. This is exactly what Mr. Bradbury would've wanted.
We now have a family heirloom to pass down to our children.

[hales @HaleyHeyYou]

Amazon just informed us that the copy of Fahrenheit 451 we bought was 'unauthorized'. Sure enough, there was no copyright info in the book at all.
We got a refund and were told we could discard it or return it, but it's an absolute treasure

[hales @HaleyHeyYou]

Turns me into a puddle every time I hear it ☔️ https://t.co/i1MMVT5HEX

[hales @HaleyHeyYou]

Are you even a man if you don't think / say out loud "I could do that" while watching the #Olympics ?

[hales @HaleyHeyYou]

@a_lolbrarian Kids have no respect these days. Gotta save it for when they say Pluto isnt a planet anymore

[hales @HaleyHeyYou]

I can either look at the excitement I felt from finally fishing out the dust rat that's been living in our vacuum pipe as being
1) really, really sad, or
2) evidence that I've reached a point in my life where I don't need all that much to be happy, which is kinda nice 🤷🏼‍♀️

[hales @HaleyHeyYou]

@GraphiteRains Well we gotta nip this thing in the bud

[hales @HaleyHeyYou]

"No matter how far I roam,
or time wasted searching for what I think I need,
I always seem to find my way back to you.."
-me to the @JohnMayer homepage on Spotify

[hales @HaleyHeyYou]

@jivebreee I live for trash poems (though I highly doubt yours would ever be trashy)
🙋🏼🙋🏼🙋🏼 send some my way!

[hales @HaleyHeyYou]

Confession of a cross-culture resident: I could only find a single shoe at the thrift store but couldn't remember the word for "pair", so I had to point to the shoe and ask "where's it's husband"
#solemates

[hales @HaleyHeyYou]

Pro tip: if you need to procrastinate, just watch video compilations of troops coming home for Christmas until you sob your face off then be honest that that's what you were watching.
No one can judge you for that.

[hales @HaleyHeyYou]

@prozdkp SmashUp 💪🏼

[hales @HaleyHeyYou]

had a dream I was walking through a crowd of people that were all chanting "marketable skills"
now i have this unshakeable anxiety to update my resume

[amandajean 🏜 @amandastuit]

There's no room in my life for people who don't like Guy Fieri

[hales @HaleyHeyYou]

Either way, I'm there. #boybye

[hales @HaleyHeyYou]

I feel like deleting your Snapchat app is either an important step into adulthood or an indication that you no longer have friends

[hales @HaleyHeyYou]

Just walked into the work cafeteria and had the cook in the back yell out "you want your usual?"
Bucket list item #317 ✔️

[hales @HaleyHeyYou]

"Man buns are ugly"
"No one can pull off a man bun"
"Ew they're so 5 years ago"
Uh try again sweetie