Hannah E. Gordon

[Amanda Copp @AmandaCoppNews]

JOURNO: Why is the Reject Shop open?

BEREJIKLIAN: Non-critical retail shouldn't be open.

JOURNO: Why is Bunnings open?

BEREJIKLIAN: Next question.

Wow👍

[Kon Karapanagiotidis @Kon__K]

The same people that give zero f”””” about refugees being lockdown in prison for 8 years suddenly think they are Nelson Mandela after 4 weeks of being asked to be safe & not think about just themselves because we are all in a life - threating pandemic. #sydneyprotest #COVID19Aus

[Dana Goldberg @DGComedy]

So weird for them to recast Melania this close to the show getting cancelled.

[Mark @markaduck]

Not sure who to thank for this, but it’s brilliant. Volume up.

[Skor Bar @Skor_Bar]

@mustard Hey Mr. Tard, big fan! Love your work. Serious question, are you related to the condiment? Could you put us in touch? We have an idea for a collab.

[Avinash Kaushik @avinash]

This is far more serious than even the most paranoid amongst us realize.

Today: US:
Cases: 33,563 (#3 in the world)
Deaths: 420 (#6 in the world)

By Thursday (or sooner if we test at scale) we'll likely be #1 in the world in cases.

Need drastic nationwide action.

[Magda Szubanski AO @MagdaSzubanski]

As this situation gets worse we will have some big moral dilemmas ahead. How do we look after and support medical staff who are not only overwhelmed but may also be infectious? We do not want to turn them into pariahs @bairdjulia @Lisa_Wilkinson @ellenmfanning @hamishNews @QandA

[Ronald Klain @RonaldKlain]

California testing rate still just at 300 / 1 million -- Korea is 20x ahead.

We are still VASTLY undercounting cases in the USA.

[Kevin Rincon @KevRincon]

Breakdown of New York #COVIDー19 cases: 15,168 overall

NYC - 9,045
Westchester - 1,873
Nassau - 1,900
Suffolk - 1,034
Rockland - 455

[Kevin Rincon @KevRincon]

Update on #COVIDー19 in New York. There are now 15,168 cases of the coronavirus. That’s 4,812 new cases overnight.

[Sarah Beattie @nachosarah]

apparently this year was written by stephen king

[Stephen King @StephenKing]

I'm quitting Facebook. Not comfortable with the flood of false information that's allowed in its political advertising, nor am I confident in its ability to protect its users' privacy. Follow me (and Molly, aka The Thing of Evil) on Twitter, if you like.

[Sarah Cooper @sarahcpr]

These impeachment hearings are like if Sesame Street was trying to figure out if Cookie Monster ate all the cookies

[Hannah E. Gordon @HannahEGordon]

My question to every movie critic that trashed @catsmovie: have you actually seen the show on stage? It’s absolutely nuts and makes no sense🧐

[Ben Schwartz @rejectedjokes]

Gonna tell my kids this was the cast of @Stranger_Things.

[Half An Onion 🧅 @HalfOnionInABag]

I haven’t seen a meltdown like this since someone used the other half of me in a grilled cheese.

[Aaron Rupar @atrupar]

CSPAN CALLER: "Howdy. I just want to apologize first & foremost for all the morons on the calls earlier, especially from Alabama. Secondly, I just want to say impeach the fucker. Have a great day!"

CSPAN HOST: "That's it for phone calls right now." 😂

[Mark Duplass @MarkDuplass]

I'm starting to get this sense that maybe Trump, like, doesn't fully respect women or something?

[Hannah E. Gordon @HannahEGordon]

The Look Book Goes to Zitomer https://t.co/0bC16MZkyx via @thecut