The Rational Toddler

Because if any grown-up did this stuff they wouldn't be able to get away with it.

[The Rational Toddler @HappyToddlering]

Emma (combing my hair)
Me: How do I look?
Emma: Not terrible, but definitely not good.

❤️💆‍♀️🤔😔😬🤷‍♀️

#MomLife

[The Rational Toddler @HappyToddlering]

Me: Emma what kind of balloons do you want for your birthday party?
Emma: Bacon balloons.

#parenting #ToddlerLife

[The Rational Toddler @HappyToddlering]

Me: Emma, what do you want in your grilled cheese?
Emma: Cheese.

I’m glad we cleared that up. 🙄

❤️🤔🥪🧀🤷‍♀️

[The Rational Toddler @HappyToddlering]

Emma: (drops some blueberries) Damn.
Me: 😯 Excuse me?
Emm: Oops, I mean what disappointment.

❤️😭😭😭😭😬🤷‍♀️

#momlife #parenting

[The Rational Toddler @HappyToddlering]

Emma: (while giving me a doctor check-up) My diagnosis for you is stop-talking-to-me-iatosis.
Me: 😐

#momlife

[The Rational Toddler @HappyToddlering]

Emma: I have to go potty!
Me: Ok let’s go!
Emma: First let me get my microphone.

#momlife

[The Rational Toddler @HappyToddlering]

Me: Emma, come and eat! Your waffle’s ready!
Emma: (eyes the waffle) And it’s not burnt?
Me: Nope.
Emma: (eyes me) Because you aren’t the best cooker, you know.
#breakfast

[The Rational Toddler @HappyToddlering]

Potty training is a lot like playing hot potato. But instead of ending up with uncomfortable hands, you get pee and poo all over your floor. And everyone involved cries. #momlife

[The Rational Toddler @HappyToddlering]

@PuzzleThry She is!!

[The Rational Toddler @HappyToddlering]

@PuzzleThry Haha, I wasn’t! There was zero butter being used that day!!!

[The Rational Toddler @HappyToddlering]

Unexpected text updates from daycare.
#ToddlerLife

[The Rational Toddler @HappyToddlering]

Me: Emma, stop petting your cheese.
Emma: I’m fluffing it.

#ToddlerLife #MomLife

[The Rational Toddler @HappyToddlering]

You thought you were gaining an hour????
#DaylightSavings #ToddlerLife

[The Rational Toddler @HappyToddlering]

Emma: I want to get up!
Me: (2:30 am) We can’t get up now. It’s still night time!
Emma: I need to go to Homegoods to buy some decorations.

[The Rational Toddler @HappyToddlering]

Me: Can I read that book with you?
Emma: No.
Me: Why?
Emma: Because you’re covered in butter.

❤️🤔🤷‍♀️
#ToddlerLife

[The Rational Toddler @HappyToddlering]

Mommy: Emma, take your finger out of your nose."
Emma: I'm trying to find some sunscreen for you!!!

#ToddlerLife

[The Rational Toddler @HappyToddlering]

Emma: Mommy!! I have poop on my hands!! Where are my mittens???
Mommy: ...

#parenting #ToddlerLife

[The Rational Toddler @HappyToddlering]

Mommy: E, why did you dump all your toys on the ground?
Me: So I can vacuum the mess.

#ToddlerLife

[The Rational Toddler @HappyToddlering]

Mathing.

#counting #ToddlerLife #nine #eleventeen

[The Rational Toddler @HappyToddlering]

Mommy: Emma, why is your face sticky?
Me: I hugged a tiny pancake.

#ToddlerLife