Harley

✨live, laugh, lobotomy✨

[Harley @Harles97]

If ever get mad or annoyed at someone while we’re texting, I won’t get short and rude or “k” them, I just stop punctuating all of my otherwise normal texts. As an English major, I realize this is EXTREMELY passive aggressive and few people actually know this.

[Harley @Harles97]

If @thebandcamino were to look at their total Spotify streams for the month of August, I alone would make up like 25% of that total, stg.

[John Attridge @John_Attridge]

"Why don't you read the books you already own before buying new books" why don't you eat all the food in the house before going shopping? That's what you sound like. That's how crazy you sound right now

[Harley @Harles97]

@peacock I mean this with the UTMOST disrespect, FUCK you and the incessant DTrvmp support ads.

[Harley @Harles97]

@hulu I pay you way too much damn money for your app and streaming service to suck this much

[Harley @Harles97]

Rewatching certain episodes of Catfish makes me realize we need to be meaner to men oh my god

[Wassup_Cara_mel @Wassup_Cara_Mel]

Barilla pasta has a Spotify playlist. Each playlist is the exact length of cook time for the varieties of pasta.

Press play, drop the noodles, music stops, al dente noodles.

[Harley @Harles97]

Stay tuned for tonight’s episode of Harley’s Hangry Crashout™️, sponsored by old, bad tortillas. Stick around to find out if she can bounce back from these ruined dinner plans. Will she get her quesadillas after all? Find out, after this short commercial break.

[Harley @Harles97]

I’m sorry but if someone talks about how they didn’t sleep well the night before, one of the dumbest things you could ask is “why?” Like idk Linda, let’s ask my brain why it wouldn’t shut off 🫶🏼

Maybe my irritation and lack of sleep are showing right now…

[Not Jerome Powell @alifarhat79]

Guy in charge of Netflix servers right now

[Clem @TheClemReport]

If you get an I Voted sticker for voting early, you should be able to scan it on your TV and all political ads should be replaced by normal commercials

[pamela ☁️☀️🛸 @tisthepamseason]

i need to speak with whoever put halloween, daylight savings, and the election all in the same week i feel like im losing my mind and time isn’t real

[Harley @Harles97]

It blows my mind how many people don’t know any fucking taste related adjectives. “It tastes like shit” ok so this tastes like literal shit? Or can you use an actual flavor related word?

[Sam Whyte @samwhyte]

Whoever's responsible for the Microsoft outage is getting fired anyway, so the smart thing to do would be knock Teams out for the day too and leave a hero.

[Harley @Harles97]

I wish someone would love me even a FRACTION as much as @NiallOfficial makes me feel with his music.

[Harley @Harles97]

“RIP Satan, he was a real G. Pour one out for the homie.”

- Me and my therapist, while in a therapy session today

[Harley @Harles97]

@Spotify who the fuck do you think you are? Calling me out like this…I just wanna talk.

[Harley @Harles97]

I really wish everyone (particularly on the internet) would just shut the fuck up and let people like what they like and do what they do rather than shitting on others hobbies, music tastes, etc

[Harley @Harles97]

Everyone is really fucking stupid today