Harmless Harlots

Liz and Jen discuss Ethical Non Monogamy and how to have more authentic relationships. We also show you how society teaches toxic relationship habits!
#poly

[Harmless Harlots @HarmlessHarlots]

I love stability as much as the next person, but I don't really believe in it - especially when it depends on other people. You have no control over other people, and that can be scary, but it can also mean that when people do stay with you, they really choose you #polyamory

[Harmless Harlots @HarmlessHarlots]

How good of a partner you are doesn't really depend on the style you practice; it depends on you. Don't use your relationship style as a crutch. You should always be working to become the best person and partner you can be #polyamory #cnm #harmlessharlots

[Harmless Harlots @HarmlessHarlots]

Put your energy into the people who give you energy. Time is a scarce resource, do not waste in on people who don't make you happy. You deserve to be surrounded by people who love and respect you #polyamory #harmlessharlots

[Harmless Harlots @HarmlessHarlots]

Not all trauma is necessarily equal, but it is still valid to have negative feelings about what happened and to seek proper treatment for yourself. When you hurt, you deserve to heal. Respect everyone's experiences. Someone else's trauma does not validate your own experience

[Harmless Harlots @HarmlessHarlots]

Having to hide your true self is shown to be bad for you. But sometimes, it's just not safe to do otherwise. And that sucks. Real bad. But we do our best to surround ourselves with loving, accepting people. And everyday we work towards a better, more inclusive future #polyamory

[Harmless Harlots @HarmlessHarlots]

I really do forget that not everyone is queer and polyamorous. It's not a fun reality to wake up to. But I'm thankful for the accepting people I have in my life, and I'm working towards a more inclusive future everyday #harmlessharlots #polyamory

[Harmless Harlots @HarmlessHarlots]

Explicit verbal consent during sex can be sexy. If you don't want a lot of talking during, then you need to front load. Talk about what you do want to happen, what you don't want to happen, and what you're safeword is. Whatever you do, make sure consent is always there #polyamory

[Harmless Harlots @HarmlessHarlots]

A great way to clear up uncertainties with your partner about consent is to talk about it! It can be really helpful to discuss things beforehand so that when you get into the bedroom, you can do the things that you and your partner enjoy most #harmlessharlots #polyamory

[Harmless Harlots @HarmlessHarlots]

If your relationships are mostly physical, that's great. But remember, you are an amazing person, regardless of who you have sex with or how many people you have sex with. Make sure the people in your life value you for all that you're worth #polyamory

[Harmless Harlots @HarmlessHarlots]

We believe you should have as much sex with as many people as you want; it just might be good now and then to check in to make sure the emotional component of your relationship is still where you want it to be. Make sure you're being valued for the wonderful person you are #poly

[Harmless Harlots @HarmlessHarlots]

If you don't feel comfortable enough with your partner to be direct, throw that trash out, baby. And while we should always ask for what we want, and encourage others to do the same, it's basic human decency to pay attention to what your partner might not be saying explicitly

[Harmless Harlots @HarmlessHarlots]

I've been in waaaay too many situations where I haven't been sure if someone was in trouble. I will admit to have been too scared to ask too many times. It's all our jobs to fight rape culture. That's not fair, but we have to do it to protect the ones we love, including ourselves

[Harmless Harlots @HarmlessHarlots]

We don't think that consent without enthusiasm is actually consent. If someone "agrees" because they feel threatened or coerced, that's not consent, and that's not ethical #harmlessharlots #polyamory

[Harmless Harlots @HarmlessHarlots]

We do not live in a culture of consent, which sucks. But consent is not that hard. Why would someone be mad at you for asking them what they want? And if they are mad at you, maybe you should find a partner with healthier boundaries #harmlessharlots #polyamory

[Harmless Harlots @HarmlessHarlots]

I'm of the opinion that relationships are important, but better when you care for and respect yourself. If you are giving up who you are for someone, that just doesn't seem right to me. Partners should support, not consume you #polyamory #harmlessharlots

[Harmless Harlots @HarmlessHarlots]

I just think it's hilarious when people try to be trans/homophobic by saying "I don't use pronouns." Honey, "I" is a pronoun. It's possible to not use any pronouns, and if that's you, I support you. But I just don't get people who give a shit what other people's pronouns are

[Harmless Harlots @HarmlessHarlots]

It would be great if all of your friends, family, and partners got along. I support people who strive for that. I personally have found it difficult because sometimes my partners are too similar to vibe well together. But I expect them to be civil, at least

[Harmless Harlots @HarmlessHarlots]

If someone does something that upsets you, you should tell them. They may not respect your wishes, but, if they don't, then you know that's not a person you want in your life. Your feelings and reactions are valid, but it doesn't mean you get to act thoughtlessly

[Harmless Harlots @HarmlessHarlots]

It can be hard to tell when it's time to leave a relationship that you're not happy in anymore. Especially if you still care about your partner. But I believe that everyone is better off in mutually beneficial relationships. Your needs matter too #harmlessharlots #polyamory

[Harmless Harlots @HarmlessHarlots]

The only person who can make your partner happy is your partner. You can be supportive and loving, but you're their partner, not their therapist. Your partner's struggles are not your responsibility. It can be hard to come to terms with that #harmlessharlots #polyamory