Loving people. I get anxious and controlling when I care about someone because part of me thinks if I just manage everything perfectly they won’t leave.
The fear of loss. I have a toddler and some nights I stay up just watching them sleep because the thought of anything happening to them makes me feel physically sick.
Ambitions without sacrifice. I turned down a trip with my siblings last month because of a deadline. They went without me and I still feel weird about it.
The ambition one. I want kids and a calmer life, but my career is finally taking off and I’m scared if I step back even a little I’ll lose the momentum I fought for.
Fear of loss. My best friend moved across the country and I didn’t realize how much I was bracing for the friendship to fade until it actually started to.
Work has completely eaten me. I had a breakdown in the car last week because I realized I hadn’t had a conversation that wasn’t about work in almost two weeks.
The work one. I tell myself I’ll stop at 6 and then it’s 11pm and I’m still answering Slack because I’m scared the whole thing will fall apart if I don’t.
Loving people without the fear. Lost my dad two years ago and now every time someone I care about is quiet for a few hours my brain immediately goes somewhere dark.
All three, honestly. But the fear of loss is the loudest right now. My partner travels a lot for work and the days before they leave I get weirdly distant without meaning to.