Ryan Hasty

Western Area Agronomy Manager - South Central FS. Notable talent: I can do impersonations of 7 people you don’t know.

[Ryan Hasty @Hasty3233]

Fillmore, IL is a wonderful slice of Americana. Literally checks all the boxes. Home of Grub Box and Liquor Box. Considering changing my name to “Phil Moore”. Storm into next city council meeting and demand to be sworn in as Mayor for Life

[Ryan Hasty @Hasty3233]

@Mcmahon15 May need to have a 2023 Weather Summit. Keynote speakers would be Punxsutawney Phil, Brick Tamlin from Anchorman, and WAND Meteorologist Anthony Peoples

[Ryan Hasty @Hasty3233]

@OchsVince Has country companies filed a claim on your sweetcorn yet?

[Ryan Hasty @Hasty3233]

2nd time this year I have been referred to as “the bald guy “by customers. I feel we should do more of this, referring to people by their physical attributes. It is a healthy form of self-awareness. “take that tank to the potbellied fella that runs the Massey equipment”

[Ryan Hasty @Hasty3233]

You see a lot cruising rural America at 24.7 mph. Saw a place that had a weight set in the front yard. Won’t see me working out in the front yard anymore. I about died one day waving at the neighbor on bench press. Switched to yoga and haven’t seen the neighbor since.

[Ryan Hasty @Hasty3233]

A guy can really get some deals if he’s willing to tune in to the Swap Shop on 101.7 WGEL. All the benefits of Craigs List without a computer. I called in and bought a bird bath, a typewriter , and a 2 person bicycle for 40 bucks! And no offers, I know what I have.

[Ryan Hasty @Hasty3233]

Put all of my symptoms in to web MD. Joint pain, fatigue, pale skin. It’s official,I’ve got the Scurvy. It all makes sense. 20 days of slick meat sammiches and I haven’t drank Tang since I was 7. Monster didn’t help. The powdered rhino horn makes me gassy.

[Ryan Hasty @Hasty3233]

The term “keeping up with the Joneses “actually started in 1972 by George Jones neighbors because he bought a brand new Caddy every six months. He wasn’t showing off, he just kept driving him through the front door of Taverns

[Ryan Hasty @Hasty3233]

Thanks to ⁦@MGeiger93⁩ for turning me on to this local legend from Ramsey,IL. Cigs were penny in his day. $1.20 vs $.03 for a fist full of heaters now. He didn’t die of old age, he died from a broken heart. Betrayed by Big Tobacco and taxation without representation

[Ryan Hasty @Hasty3233]

Country music has had some dark times. The formation of Rascal Flatts. Giving Luke Bryan a microphone. The most ridiculous was when Garth Brooks lost his mind and turned into Chris Gaines. The only good thing that came from it was of 1.5 Star movie Zoolander.

[Ryan Hasty @Hasty3233]

In an effort to get the outside row of corn nice and green, I tickled a power pole with the blue jet. Did the right thing and pulled wire after work. Apologies to Ralph and Gertrude. Gunsmoke and The Clapper should be powered up now.

[Ryan Hasty @Hasty3233]

@scscfs Vandalia

[Ryan Hasty @Hasty3233]

Hans and Franz…”We are here to pump you up”

[Ryan Hasty @Hasty3233]

@OchsVince I am looking for a local bank to give me a high risk loan with a low interest rate. Any ideas

[Ryan Hasty @Hasty3233]

Just realized I am rapidly approaching the time frame of purchasing one of key items required for anti-aging. ‘88 corvette or a Trike. Either way the gold chains are already on layaway

[Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien]

The CDC has been eerily silent on whether vaccinated people can lick every joystick in a Dave & Busters.

[Ryan Hasty @Hasty3233]

@ckuhl14 We think he is Bassett and red coon dog

[Ryan Hasty @Hasty3233]

Gary found something he hates more than squirrels...hornets! 22 hours a day dreaming of having opposable thumbs to operate wasp spray and 6 shooters. Other 2 hours spends looking straight up for tree rats and devil bugs

[Ryan Hasty @Hasty3233]

@WyattJones_20 @SouthCentralFS @tracyh_growmark @Asgrow_DEKALB @DKAS_SIL @RRXtend If you’re not talking on the phone when you’re putting in a plot, you’re not doing it right

[Ryan Hasty @Hasty3233]

@iowachillshow That is awesome!