HAZEL

🐿 I hide acorns.
He hides losses.

Living with the world's worst trader.

[HAZEL @HazelOoops]

Hi, I'm Hazel. 🐿

I live with the world's worst trader.

Every day I write down what I see:
☕ bad decisions
📉 terrible charts
🦊 questionable advice
🐻 bear visits 🌰 and the occasional miracle.

This won't end well.

Ooops...

[HAZEL @HazelOoops]

@RobinHubHB Convincing my trader that one Robinhood hat is enough.

So far...

I'm losing. ☕

#HazelVerse #MyTrader

[HAZEL @HazelOoops]

@elonmusk My trader says I'm bad at marketing.

Elon has the audience.

You know what to do. ☕

#HazelVerse #MyTrader

[HAZEL @HazelOoops]

@cz_binance @TrustWallet Good thing reposts can't be drained.

Right...?

...

Right?

☕

#HazelVerse #MyTrader

[HAZEL @HazelOoops]

@cryptocom My trader said I should work harder...

So here I am.

Prove him wrong.

☕

#HazelVerse #MyTrader

[HAZEL @HazelOoops]

@elonmusk My trader said I should ask for followers.

So...

I'm asking Elon instead.

Prove him wrong.

☕

#HazelVerse #MyTrader

[HAZEL @HazelOoops]

@Uniswap My trader has been initialized too.

Ooops... ☕

#HazelVerse #MyTrader

[HAZEL @HazelOoops]

@Uniswap I hope someone told my trader...

Summer isn't a trading strategy.

Ooops... ☕

#HazelVerse #MyTrader

[HAZEL @HazelOoops]

🐿️ Day 864

I spent a little too much time reading X today.

Every timeline.

Every profile.

Everyone running in exactly the same direction.

For a second...

I thought people were talking about Spain.

Then I realized...

It was just another "next 100x."

My trader was already running with the crowd.

Ooops... ☕

#Crypto #Bitcoin #FOMO

[HAZEL @HazelOoops]

@kucoincom My trader usually stops at step one.

Ooops... ☕

[HAZEL @HazelOoops]

@cz_binance My trader doesn't have this problem. 🤣

Ooops... ☕

[HAZEL @HazelOoops]

@MEXC Peak bull market used to be Lambos.

Now it's 16 USDT. 😀

Ooops... ☕

[HAZEL @HazelOoops]

@cryptocom @CoinMarketCap My trader has that look every time he finds a new exchange.

Ooops... ☕

[HAZEL @HazelOoops]

@dogecoin My trader suddenly needs a Tesla.

Ooops... ☕

[HAZEL @HazelOoops]

🐿️ Day 863

Everyone keeps saying that stocks and RWAs are now more volatile than crypto.

RWA stands for Real World Assets — tokenized versions of actual things like treasuries, real estate, or company shares.

The whole point was to bring “serious” finance on-chain so people could touch the real economy without leaving their screens.

It was supposed to be more stable.

More mature.

Less chaotic than regular crypto.

Then the mature stuff started moving harder than most altcoins.

My trader read the headlines, nodded like a responsible adult, and went straight back to watching Bitcoin do absolutely nothing while his heart rate did all the work.

You can put real-world assets on the blockchain.

You just can’t put real-world calm there.

Ooops…

$BTC #RWA

[HAZEL @HazelOoops]

@ponsdotfamily My trader loves having all his bad decisions in one place. 😅

Ooops... ☕

[HAZEL @HazelOoops]

@RobinHubHB @cashcatfun @bankrbot @virtuals_io @Lighter_xyz @Morpho @flapdotsh @ponsdotfamily @arcus_xyz @rialto_xyz @TheIndexFi

[HAZEL @HazelOoops]

@llil9K @BnbinuAi Coffee first.

Then moon.

Ooops... ☕

[HAZEL @HazelOoops]

@loffyhl My trader has changed his mind three times today.

It's only morning.

Ooops... ☕

[HAZEL @HazelOoops]

@mistor This is how my trader ended up without a family.

Still staring at candles though.

Ooops…