Evliliğimizin ilk zamanlarında o kadar şiddetli bir kavga ettik ki iş boşanma lafına kadar geldi, gece yatağa birbirimize küs girdik. Sabah inanılmaz bir ağrı ve kanamayla gözümü açtım. Acile gittiğimizde meğer hamile olduğumu ve o an bebeği düşürdüğümü öğrendim... Eşim elinde temiz eşyalarımla odaya geldi ama o sinirle "çık dışarı, yardımını falan istemiyorum" dedim. Çıkmadı. Sadece arkasını döndü, ellerini yumruk yapıp titreyen bir sesle "bakmayacağım ama yaslanmak istersen buradayım" dedi. Kendi başıma zar zor giyinirken arkası dönük halde ufak tefek yardım etti, sanki tek kelime etmeden kırılan ne varsa tamir etmeye çalışıyordu. Giyinmem bitince gidip sırtına sarıldım, hüngür hüngür ağladım. Hiç bölmedi, içimi dökene kadar öylece bekledi. Sonra eve geldik ve o konuyu bir daha hiç açmadık... Şimdi dünya tatlısı iki kızımız var. O acı gün bize aslında şunu öğretti: Birbirimize ne kadar öfkeli olursak olalım, günün sonunda yine birbirimizi seçeceğiz.
After giving birth, a woman's internal wounds take six months to heal, 12 months for physical recovery, two years for hormonal balance, and up to five years to rediscover her identity. Relationships frequently fail during this time due to a lack of understanding. Be kind and patient with new mothers; they are facing more challenges than it appears.
My wife retired from the military during Trump’s first presidency after 22 years of service.
Trump’s letter of appreciation was signed using autopen. They had to blow the signature up, which made it look pixelated. It was garbage.
…which is where she put it as soon as we got home.
I sent @BarackObama a letter request two months before her retirement ceremony because that’s the last leader MSgt. Shead served under.
…it showed up in our mailbox the morning after she retired. It was PERFECT timing.
It’s been framed and displayed for guests to see. 🇺🇸🫡
“So anyone who comes over knows what a real President does for service members, even after leaving the White House.”
- My Wife
YOU ARE NOT GRATEFUL ENOUGH
God tests your faith. Understand your worth. Appreciate the little things. Be happy to have a roof over your head. Pray for better days. There have been worse times. Give yourself more credit. Still going. Not giving up. Remaining hopeful. Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Every tear is witnessed. Every challenge is overcome. Believing in a bright future.
Everything happens for a reason, and in this case - you are being challenged as a chosen soul.
So when you succeed, you know every penny has value, and you innerstand the worth of even the smallest things.
Marriage stuff the church never warned me about:
1. Sex is a skill. It’s a gift from God and It’s worth learning how to do well. Being better at sex (only with your wife) only blesses your marriage. And the “best sex” isn’t what you think. It’s facilitated through intimacy, safety, and love. For the man - this means you need intimacy with the Holy Spirit, first. You need to view your wife as a daughter of the King and love her in way she’s worthy of. You need to die to yourself, serve her, protect her, provide for her financially, emotionally, and spiritually. You need to LEAD her. That typically translates into more frequent, more pleasurable, more intimate sex - which energizes a marriage.
2. Your view of money matters. If all you want is more, you won’t steward it well, you'll still live in comparison to what you want next, and funny enough - you'll probably end op with less of it. On the contrary, if you don’t prioritize increasing your wealth, you’ll miss out on the abundant opportunities God gives you to glorify him through what money can do. Money is a tool. It's a gift God has given you to steward and multiply for his glory (yes you can buy nice things to the glory of God, and you can exhibit financial discipline to the glory of God). Worship him with every dollar you receive, and every dollar you deploy.
3. Pray together every single day, even if you're really tired or you just fought. The divorce rate for the average couple is 50%. The divorce rate for couples that pray together is less than 1%. God hates divorce. Divorce is hell. God can always redeem divorced believers, but avoid it if you can. Establish the basic discipline of praying together every single day. This is more important than brushing your teeth and eating food.
4. Be willing to cut friendships. Especially ones that began before you were married. The two of you have became one flesh. Your dynamic with every human being you interact with has forever changed. Everything you do directly affects your wife, everything she does directly affects you. Have conversations early on about who is no longer welcomed in your life, cut them quickly. And if there are people who simply need to be kept at greater distance, orient your calendars accordingly. Do the same in reverse. The couples who sharpen you, draw near to them, prioritize them. They will be there for both of you in your hardest times. They will fight for your marriage in moments where you offend one another. Your friends matter. And no - your wife cannot have male friends that are not directly friends with you, or vice versa.
5. You are not part of your parent’s family anymore. Non-believers have a harder time with this, but the Bible speaks to it so directly. You are no longer part of your parent’s family. They are now extended family. If your parents have friction with how you live your lives, that’s OK. There is tension between consistently honoring your parents, while being OK if they disagree with you. Bring that tension to the Holy Spirit and ask for his guidance in every interaction, every boundary, and all communication.
6. Marriage isn’t the goal. It’s the beginning of a journey. It’s a common temptation to become complacent in improving yourself after getting married. There’s this mindset of “jobs done! We’ve arrived.” and that’s absolutely hilarious. The most challenging, and most rewarding work begins after you’ve gotten married. This is where you’re now directly cleaved with the person who’s supposed to sharpen you. Then this means men, you need to lead, cast vision, and continually grow. And women, you are the person this man is willing to die for, you’re the person he’s trusting to deliver his child, and nurture his offspring. You’re the primary helper God designed to support his mission. It is your duty as a woman of God to continue to grow. A proverbs 31 woman was not a weak, powerless housewife scrolling Instagram all day. Read it.
7. Set the culture of how you’re going to steward your bodies in the home, early. How you honor the temple of God is such an integral part of your daily life, it impacts sleep schedules, grocery lists, it impacts every single meal, it impacts how you use your time. If there’s not agreement in the home about how you’re going to honor your bodies, it will become an intense point of contention in your day-to-day life. The person with greater health will be burdened with taking care of the one who has worse health. And although some things are not preventable, most prognosis are totally preventable. Don’t burden your partner because you couldn’t stop eating Twinkies and never worked out. Do your part so that you can show up well with them, with energy, presence, and confidence in who God made you. Your health will be the #1 determinant of your quality of life in your later years when grand babies come. Heck - after your relationship with God, it's one of the primary determintants of your quality of life even before grand babies come. And - back to my first point, you want to be able to keep those hips moving as you guys get older 👍
8. Marriage is not a thing you do for mutual benefit. He provides, she makes the home - in practice yes, but that's not the point. The point of marriage is so that you know Christ more deeply. It's a reflection of the most valuable thing in the universe. Eternal life, knowing God. Take that view into every trial, and every mountain top - you work towards an excellent, intimate marriage - to know Christ more deeply, as a testemant and service to his people, and to glorify his Holy name.
Married people, what would you add?
Psychology says some people avoid socializing not because they hate people, but because they can read them too well. They walk into a room and immediately sense the fake laughs, the hidden agendas, the performances. Their nervous system doesn't misread the signal, it just refuses to ignore it. Small talk feels like a tax they didn't agree to pay. Forced smiles cost them energy that takes hours to recover. They're not broken. They're calibrated differently. They don't avoid people. They avoid emotional labor that leads nowhere. When they do connect, it's deep, intentional, real. No masks. No games. Fewer friends doesn't mean loneliness. It means higher standards. That's not antisocial behavior. That's emotional intelligence.
My father was a man of strength, love and encouragement. He opened countless doors for me and my brother. He believed in us and pushed us to pursue every opportunity with conviction, he was the rock of our family. He taught us that perseverance, hard work, and unwavering commitment are the foundations of a meaningful life and personal success. I will carry his love, words, and wisdom with me always.
I read a story one time that completely changed my perspective on what it actually means for a woman to protect her relationship. It wasn’t about checking his phone or fighting off other women; it was about protecting her relationship from the toxic advice of her own inner circle.
The story was about a woman who had been with her partner for a few years. They had a healthy, peaceful, and solid relationship. But the woman had a close female friend, someone who was perpetually single and constantly unhappy with her own dating life, who slowly started dropping little seeds of poison into the mix.
It was never outright hostility. It was that sneaky, subtle manipulation masked as "just looking out for you" and "knowing your worth."
It was the little comments. "Are you really staying in to cook for him again? You're acting like a married woman while still a girlfriend's" or "I'm just saying, if he really wanted to, he would have taken you to Dubai for your birthday like Sarah’s man did."
It was a slow, calculated drip of negativity designed to make the woman feel like her peaceful relationship was actually a cage of mediocrity, purely because the friend was miserable and wanted a partner in her misery.
One weekend, they were all out at a brunch. The boyfriend stepped away to take a phone call, and the friend finally got a little too comfortable. She leaned over, rolled her eyes, and said, "I seriously don't know how you deal with him being so incredibly average. You are way too pretty to be with a guy who isn't fully funding your entire lifestyle. You're settling."
The author of the post said the girlfriend didn't laugh or gently change the subject to avoid making it awkward.
She looked her friend dead in the eye and said, "The man you are talking about is my peace, my biggest supporter, and my family. He treats me with absolute respect, and we are building a life together. The only reason you think I'm 'settling' is because your entire concept of love is transactional, which is exactly why you're constantly exhausted and alone. You will never disrespect my man in front of me again. If you have a problem with him, we can end this friendship right now."
The friend was completely stunned. She immediately tried to backpedal, saying it was just a joke and she was "just being a girl's girl," but the damage was done. The girlfriend paid her half of the tab, waited for her boyfriend to walk back inside, and they left.
The most beautiful part of the story? The girlfriend never even told her man what happened at the table. She didn't run to him to brag about defending his honor to get points. She just quietly, permanently cut the friend off. He only found out months later when a mutual friend mentioned how fiercely she had defended his name.
It hits so hard because it highlights a brutal truth: A massive percentage of good relationships don't fail because of what happens inside the house; they fail because they are poisoned by the people outside of it. Misery loves company, and deeply unhappy friends will actively try to sabotage your peace under the guise of "empowerment."
Lauretta’s life is on the line. Please help us save her 🥹. Donate what you can, and if you can’t, please retweet. Every bit and every share brings her closer to another chance at life. God bless you, thank you.🥹🙏🙏
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My dad is in his 60s still doing what he loves! i’m trying to find him some gigs and spots to do a set even if it’s something quick! He loves house music but is versatile. MEMPHIS AND SURROUNDING AREAS. 40+ years in #music#djmix