Hefin's Mother

Keeping an eye on that little bugger @constantslimmer. Oh, and I'm his mother.

[Hefin's Mother @HefinsMother]

Merry Christmas to you all!! Just having a festive homemade baileys. With real gin, brandy, rum, sherry, vodka, whiskey and double cream.

[Hefin's Mother @HefinsMother]

What do you want for Christmas this year? I'm going shopping tomorrow so speak now or get a subscription to Bella magazine.

[Hefin's Mother @HefinsMother]

Can't we all just assume that everyone loves Nelson Mandela unless said otherwise? It would save me a lot of fucking patience!

[Hefin's Mother @HefinsMother]

Bought @constantslimmer an advent calendar but I accidentally got shit faced and ate it all last night. Nevermind. He won't notice...

[Hefin's Mother @HefinsMother]

It seems the best part of doing Crossfit is telling everyone fucking else about it. #CrossShit

[Hefin's Mother @HefinsMother]

My farts are people magnets.

[Hefin's Mother @HefinsMother]

Don't ask me for my source, but never shoot a firework out of your bum.

[Hefin's Mother @HefinsMother]

Got a quesadilla last night. Got a right quesadiarrhoea today.

[Hefin's Mother @HefinsMother]

@lalscotton Will you do this for adults as well? Asking for a friend like... And instead of Harry Potter, maybe Lady Chatterley?

[Hefin's Mother @HefinsMother]

@alunsaunders @constantslimmer What ew doing wearing my clothes Hef!? You little bugger!!

[Hefin's Mother @HefinsMother]

Dafuk is a 'Caramel shop'!? #WerthersOriginals

[Hefin's Mother @HefinsMother]

"Run, run as fast as you can! You can't catch me I'm Hefin's Mam!"

Me to the Menopause.

[Hefin's Mother @HefinsMother]

Did you guys know that Woolworths has fucking shut down? Now where am I going to shoplift pic n'mix!?

[Hefin's Mother @HefinsMother]

I forgot @constantslimmer's birthday again this year! Sorry Butt! Better get down Woolworths and get him a CD or summit...

[Hefin's Mother @HefinsMother]

@alunsaunders @constantslimmer Who's birthday is it? When!? Mine!? Who!?

[Hefin's Mother @HefinsMother]

Sometimes I like to drink Powerade from an anti-freeze bottle, just to fuck with people's minds! Sometimes I just like to drink anti-freeze.

[Hefin's Mother @HefinsMother]

@mrsppwps @ppwps Hmmm it's tough... I probably need to see a photo of you both naked...

Just kidding! He's punching well above his weight!

[Hefin's Mother @HefinsMother]

I like to look at people's boyfriends/girlfriends on Facebook and decide if they're too good for one another.

[Hefin's Mother @HefinsMother]

Just got back from Springsteen in Cardiff. Hell of a walk of shame! And hell of a walk actually.