EL HAJJ - EL PATRON

WITTY || PRIMUS INTER PARES ||

[EL HAJJ - EL PATRON @Hefkhay]

Their manner of approach is like that of SARS.

The RRS used to be stationed under the bridge doing good work, but recently, there are SARS looking men in a korope bus always there waiting to intimidate and profile motorist.

@LagosPoliceNG @AbimbolaShotayo @CruLagospolice

[EL HAJJ - EL PATRON @Hefkhay]

Hello @PoliceNG @TunjiDisu1

Why are we having heavy police presence lately at Otedola Undebridge on both sides?

There are about 3 checkpoints, just 10/20meters away from each other.

One of those checkpoint are men in PURE BLACK with heavily ARMED guns using a Korope bus. 1/2

[Dr. Toks 🦇 @fimiletoks]

Some cabals are afraid of PBAT's re-election and they are desperate.

If a man who is facing re-election can damn the consequences of politics unlike his predecessors to remove subsidy, break the BDC black market racketeering, NNPC 100% remittance to FAAC ( these 3 items were the biggest heist against the Nigerian economy and its citizens )

He is pushing to disrupt the politics at the local level with LG Autonomy that will empower LG and stop them from being stooges of governors.

States Police, a decentralised security architecture with the establishment of Police Academies and Army Depots in different regions.

Tax reform and internal sharing of VAT to favour Derivation. Wealth should be distributed to align more with where it is derived.

Creation of other regional development commissions.

No President has been bold enough to tackle these issues since 1999.

"What will he do when he is not facing re-election" ?

[Zuko💋 @xo_dolph]

One particular tribe go carry sword and dagger dey waka. But if na me try am, police go carry me for cultism. 😹😹

[EL HAJJ - EL PATRON @Hefkhay]

@Oluwatomis8817 @_fefas Lol exactly

[The Air You Breathe 🌬️ @BlehisBack]

I was unemployed for 6 months.

- Gave into vices. lol. Drank till my ulcer triggered in the midnight and I almost died. Then I realized that I’m being foolish. Picked myself up.
- Went to driving school. Perfected my driving.
- Sent applications everyday. Lived and dwelled on LinkedIn. Applied for everything and anything.
- The applications started yielding fruit so on some days I had tests or interviews.
- Used WhatsApp less so that seeing people go to the office won’t trigger me.
- Started learning financial modeling with my friend, Femi
- Realized it wasn’t a thing of shame and told more people about it (Buchi unofficially employed me pending when I got something. Uqbah later connected me to my next role)
- Slept like a mad person 😂. Learnt new dishes too. I just dey cook, dey chop.
- Avoided relationships like a plague. Na words of affirmation I wan give?
- Avoided my folk’s place too. I no fit dey grind pepper when I suppose dey work.
- Dyed my hair red. Wanted to get a tattoo but it was more expensive than my depression.
- All in all, came out stronger ❤️

[Abbas @Abbas_bnSanusi]

I remember my harrowing experience at work on this particular day. My late boss (may Allah have mercy upon his soul) had sent me to an aged client's house at Lekki Phase 1 to review a court process we intend to file, when I got to the client's house (apparently they had disputed with my boss earlier), she gave me the coldest welcome ever, she tongue-lashed me and kept me standing on my feet for more than an hour, reading the court processes to her husband over the phone (he was visually impaired). At some point, my throat was dry, I needed water, yet I couldn't demand it.

She mentioned how we were cheap lawyers and that she'd deduct the money they paid for my Uber from our professional fees. I endured every bit of disrespect till I finished my assignment there. When I was leaving, she told me 'omo daada ni e', I said nothing still.

On my way to the office, my boss called me and inquired about a different case I was supposed to appear in, on that same day, I respond 'yeah...', while trying to recall the case, and my boss hanged up on me, I called back more than 3 times, he didn't pick up. When I got to the office, my boss was waiting for me with pent up fury over my usage the word 'yeah', then proceeded to give me another round of tongue-lashing about how I lacked home training, and more. I couldn't even explain myself because it'd be construed as me justifying my actions, I kept mute all the while. I was hungry, sad and felt defeated.

I had intended to report what I went through at the client's house to my boss, but the situation at the office meant that I had to repress my experience.

By the time I returned to my desk, my eyes were heavily pregnant with tears, but it was impossible for me to breakdown in the presence of others, so I sulked it up and moved on...but I never forgot !

[Zab’s Cuisine @ZabsCuisine]

Dear Ibadan Twitter❤️
Pls I need your help,I am urgently in need of a space where I can sell food on the street .I’ve not been making sales and I can’t continue like this.I would appreciate anywhere around Gate,Mokola or Bodija.
Pls Retweet for me.🙏

[Oyo Matters @Oyo_Matters]

JUST IN 🚨: Unknown Gunmen Attack Immigration Facility in Ogbomoso, Snatch Officer's Rifle.

[Fabrizio Romano @FabrizioRomano]

🚨💣 BREAKING: Éderson to Manchester United, here we go!

Deal done with Atalanta for €45m package with add-ons included, agreement now in place.

Medical and formal steps to follow but deal in place.

Éderson will sign a four year deal plus option, as @TheAthleticFC reports.

[Madrid Xtra @MadridXtra]

THE FIRST SIGNING OF 2026/27.

DENZEL DUMFRIES! 🤍💣

[Fabrizio Romano @FabrizioRomano]

🚨💣 EXCLUSIVE: Denzel Dumfries to Real Madrid, HERE WE GO! ⚪️🇳🇱

Deal in place and all agreed with Dutch right back to join Real Madrid from Inter, Spanish club will trigger €20m release clause.

Dumfries has accepted Madrid, deal closed tonight and formal steps to follow.

[Dr. Toks 🦇 @fimiletoks]

PMB gave Lagos 2 Forward Operating Military Bases - Epe and Lekki. Epe after the Igbonla students were kidnapped in 2017 and held for 65 days and Lekki to protect the deep sea port and free trade zone.

Before PMB the last security formation upgrade in the south west was in the year 2000 when OBJ upgraded the Lagos Garrison Command to 81 Div, a full mechanised division.

PBAT has established Army depots in Osogbo and Abakaliki and a Police Academy in Ijebu. He has set up forest guards, and he is working on state police. State Police changes our security architecture dramatically. No region in the country should be vulnerable security wise and Security architecture should be decentralized.

[The Touchline | 𝐓 @TouchlineX]

🚨 𝗖𝗥𝗔𝗭𝗬 𝗙𝗔𝗖𝗧: Thomas Tuchel, Carlo Ancelotti, and Luis Enrique have won 5 out of the last 6 Champions Leagues.

During that same period, all of them managed Kylian Mbappé, who still never won it.

[Foundational Nupe Lawyer @egi_nupe]

Imagine calling your staff “illiterates” over minor disagreement on their pay. One wonders how you treat them on a normally. This is how toxic work environment is created

[Felix The GenZ HR is HIRING @bsong_HR]

I am happy you people are finally seeing it.

This is what founders do, but somehow you people always say it's HR.
This is not an attack on anyone. I just want to educate.

This is a business owner (founder), not HR.

She won't pay prorated salaries or add an employee to payroll because the employee resumed mid-month. Ideally, you should be able to do that unless payroll has already been processed for the month, which I doubt, considering it's a small business and salaries are most likely paid between the 29th and the 2nd of the new month (which is typically the case).

You should also be able to pay up to a full month's salary if the resumption date falls within the first few days of the month. But you're a small business, I get it. You want to see your money's worth.

Anyhoo, this is the mindset of many Nigerian founders. They're often uninformed when it comes to payroll and compensation conversations, and whenever HR pushes back, the response is usually that HR just wants to spend money or "dash" employees money.

Meanwhile, this same money will still be paid 😂
You'll pay it eventually, whether you like it or not, so why stress the employee out in the process?

If, for any reason, you do not want to pay immediately, perhaps due to cash flow or because payroll has already been finalized, you can simply communicate that to the employee.

Tell them that payroll was prepared before they joined and that they will be added to the next payout cycle, simple!

Don't act like they came begging for your money. They worked for it. It's their money. Pay them!

If you had a real HR professional guiding you, this would have been handled differently; instead, you've exposed yourself to unnecessary public ridicule.

Anyhoo, text @thegenzhr or me if you're ready for some assistance with your HR operations.

Enjoy.

[H O L I C S @Simply_Holics]

If Mbappe leaves to any team. He’ll someday be wanting to join PSG back because i don’t think he’ll get the same love he gets from france. By that time PSG has 2 championships league and he still will have 0

[Rufybaba @Rufyb]

Interesting one. Temitope Omodele was the CFO of UAC Foods and it is looking like she’d be taking over from Yemi Oloyede as Group CEO.

She has a big task ahead of her, because UAC Foods is now a ₦300bn revenue coy after its recent acquisition of CHI Limited. She will be responsible for creating value from the acquisition.

Temitope is an ex-KPMG, rising to Senior Manager before she took up a Senior Vice President of Finance role at UACN, and then later was appointed CFO of UAC Foods.

Fingers crossed.

[Dr. Toks 🦇 @fimiletoks]

There are over 200 Okadas in several clusters on Castle Rock Road. The number keeps growing as if someone comes to drop them in batches of 40 weekly. Bikes are banned but the state can't enforce basic rules.

Nobody knows where these guys are from? How do over 200 unknown guys with bikes suddenly appear in a community? Who procured the bikes for them? A bike now costs over N1million. What is the source of funding for the bikes?

The police at the Maroko division are only concerned about stopping people driving flashy cars. The state is on autopilot.

[Foundational Nupe Lawyer @egi_nupe]

I boarded one korope to pack some chairs and table and charged me 10k. But to appreciate his efforts, I paid him 15k instead. When I got home I discovered that I forgot my original cord and power bank in his car. Luckily, it was an Opay account that I paid into, so I called him immediately and he promised to bring the cord and the powerbank the next day.

Today makes it 5days, no cord, no power bank and he has stopped picking my calls.

That’s an average Nigerian!
Zero integrity