Jil 🇵🇸

socially they/she fiscally they/them

[clithony findertano @ducktelevision]

sometimes a big dawg (me) needs a pup cup (8-16 beers)

[Jil 🇵🇸 @Hello_Its_JB]

For when you (pens fan) gay marry your wife (sabres fan)

[Pittsburgh Penguins @penguins]

Together 🏳️‍🌈

[Jil 🇵🇸 @Hello_Its_JB]

If most of the taxes I'm paying now are going towards bombing children, would rather pay double for none of the money to do that

[Kate ☻ 🧡🖤 @_katecarr]

I think the reason a lot of people are turned off by taxes is because, really besides schools and a select municipalities that are good about upkeeping roads, the average American doesn’t see a tangible return on it. If we actually got healthcare, higher ed, transit, infrastructure, there wouldn’t be this “why tf am I paying that for?”

[Jil 🇵🇸 @Hello_Its_JB]

D or C, depends on time of year

[Andrew Hilary🇵🇸 @AndrewHilaryUS]

You win a some expense paid 10 day vacation to coastal Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. The catch? You can only stay within one section. Which do you choose?

[Jil 🇵🇸 @Hello_Its_JB]

I walk the In/Out of the Will tightrope every day of my life

[Ms.K @mskmalibu]

I am simultaneously my family’s black sheep and the gold star, that’s exactly why I am the way I am

[Matt Osterndorf 🦬 @MattOsterndorf]

I had a buddy who interned for the House of Angostura and he asked why they don't just put a label on the bitters that's the right size for the bottle

They straight up killed him and put his body in the dumpster. He was my friend

[Riley 🐀 @Tranz_Ferdinand]

American beers are actually notorious for being high abv. Even that Bud Light is likely still around the same abv as that german lager. In the US, light beer refers to the calorie content, not necessarily the abv. I recognize that is different than other countries

[Brendan O'Hare @brendohare]

ME: I will have 4 blueberry muffins for dinner please
DUNKIN DONUTS CASHIER: Please do not tell us that you're having them for dinner

[Souf Oaklin fo' Life @Souf_Oaklin]

Just outside the restrooms of Pitt’s Posvar Hall sits the home plate where Bill Mazeroski hit baseball’s greatest home run. The game seven, bottom-of-the-ninth blast lifted the Pirates to a World Series win over the Yankees.

[Michael Burns @michaeloburns]

Happy Memorial Day.

[fortnite small shield potion @cartmanologist]

whip out your schlong youre the piano man

[𝖆𝖘𝖍 @cemetaryway]

shaving my legs but not my bush or armpits because im not a fucking loser

[ana٠࣪⭑ @1unamorsupremoo]

haciendo cardio pq necesito estar sana para seguir fumando

[puppy enjoyer @BokononsProphet]

My top five bars

1) Applebee’s - Bloomington, MN (the good one)

2) Cowboy Jack’s - Bloomington, MN (the good one)

3) Margaritaville - Bloomington, MN

4) Buffalo Wild Wings - Bloomington, MN

5) Applebee’s - Bloomington, MN (the bad one)

[Riley 🐀 @Tranz_Ferdinand]

My hands feel sticky just looking at this

[Souf Oaklin fo' Life @Souf_Oaklin]

Whew! New lion cub at Pittsburgh Zoo says she hates Penn State.
https://t.co/10kqml89Pb

[defleppardfan94 @lemonade_grrrl]

my uncle bought a geek bar from the dollar store and got SIDS

[SpursMuse @spurs_muse]

ELMO JUST SAW A BUTTERFLY

[Jil 🇵🇸 @Hello_Its_JB]

Ernie would have killed himself years ago

[Ryan disappears into a puff of smoke @simple_as_grass]

Where would the great writers of the past be if they lived today?
James Joyce: ADDICTED TO INTERNET PORN
Fyodor Dostoevsky: ADDICTED TO INTERNET PORN
Charles Bukowski: ADDICTED TO INTERNET PORN
Whitman: chillin in da woods :D
Ernest Hemingway: ADDICTED TO INTERNET PORN

[jalapeño hannah @jalapeno_hannah]

gonna be pissed when we trade her to the Yankees for prospects right before her contract year