Kevo

I like hats and bow-ties and video games and my banner is me in a letter

[Kevo @HeyItsKevo]

Mfw I’m near Tannhäuser Gate and C-Beams start to glitter in the dark.

[Kevo @HeyItsKevo]

Nonno saw the doctor today because his back and hip hurts after foraging yesterday.
Doctor: you’re too old to be climbing hills and trees for mushrooms.
Nonno: i have trouble sleeping at night…
Doctor: what? Because of your pain?
Nonno: No… thinking about mushrooms…

[Kevo @HeyItsKevo]

Nonno: I was with my dad and we found a mushroom THIS BIG *gestures his entire wingspan* we had to scoop the things up in both arms they were so massive...

Me: wow thats insane when did this happen?

Nonno: last night, in my dream.

[Kevo @HeyItsKevo]

Now that Leo is officially the pope I can finally come out and say it: I was initially chosen, but had to decline. I couldn't possibly hold a position that so critically limited my hat selection.

[Kevo @HeyItsKevo]

I trust the MBTA bus drivers with my life. It may not be a smooth ride, but I’ve never heard of any of the buses catching fire.

[Kevo @HeyItsKevo]

@leafy_greens___ おいし！！！！

[Kevo @HeyItsKevo]

@11Vadu Where the hell does Metroid keep all his missiles

[Kevo @HeyItsKevo]

elon emailed me and asked for 4-5 bullets of what I’ve been xweeting this week so im xosting this so he doesn’t fire me

[Kevo @HeyItsKevo]

@BeaconUpdate What department of education

[Kevo @HeyItsKevo]

@BladeoftheS Hoods were in the wash

[chaomix @chaomix]

um... wtf?

[Kevo @HeyItsKevo]

@mean_gene_real Mr boop vibes

[Kevo @HeyItsKevo]

@ToonTris I’m about to have a suspiciously fludd shaped lump in my backpack but pay no heed

[Kevo @HeyItsKevo]

Another tough case. I'm already feeling the pull of the weekend.

[Kevo @HeyItsKevo]

@Amtrak please babe

[Kevo @HeyItsKevo]

awoke in cold sweat
i take a sigh of relief
my name’s still kevin

[Kevo @HeyItsKevo]

Super Mario Wonder Game™️ has probably been the best online gaming experience I’ve had in a long time

[Kevo @HeyItsKevo]

Guy 1: she? She who?
Guy 2: no, xi.
Guy 1: oh, Winnie.
And then in the time it took me to type this they somehow starting talking about blockchain technology

[Kevo @HeyItsKevo]

Interesting political discussion I overheard between two old white guys in a Boston deli:
Guy 1: …do you think we should keep sending money, open checkbook, to Ukraine?
Guy 2: open checkbook, yeah, it’s just when we give them our guns I have a problem with it.

[Kevo @HeyItsKevo]

Guy 1: yeah that’s when the Russians just steal them and now they got what we got.
Guy 2: yeah, if not for our guns they keep stealin Putin would be runnin tail between his legs.
Guy 1: Putin is just begging for Trump to win this election
Guy 2: yeah, he and xi