Salty Woman

she/her Sass Master. Ultimate Nerd. Pizza Lover.

[Salty Woman @HeyShayToday]

I would like to cancel my subscription to men, please

[Salty Woman @HeyShayToday]

1) BOSTON HAS WOMEN’S SPORTS FFS!!! I get what Sam Adams is doing & it’s cutesie or whatever, but it’s also just like… enabling a persistent narrative about men’s sports that I find particularly annoying given current sports events.
2) Aerin Frankel (Frank-Ale) is RIGHT THERE!!!

[Salty Woman @HeyShayToday]

If @nbcsnl knew what was good for them they would do a skit about the men’s Olympic team and it’s just Ilya calling them out for being absolute bootlickers.

[Salty Woman @HeyShayToday]

The Men’s Olympic hockey team are a bunch of fucking losers. Gold means nothing when your soul is fucking black.

[Salty Woman @HeyShayToday]

You know when you were a kid and your parents told you never to trust an adult that asked you for help finding their dog?

Don’t fucking trust this ad when it tells you that it’s going to use this surveillance technology only to find dogs.

[philip lewis @Phil_Lewis_]

Here's that Ring #SuperBowl commercial:

[Salty Woman @HeyShayToday]

As a MA resident I’m disgusted (but not surprised) to see @RepAuchincloss @RepMoulton @RepStephenLynch on this list. They lack any insight & understanding that ICE is terrorizing and killing within our communities and should NOT be welcome in MA. Or anywhere, really.

[Jonathan 'Boo and Vote' Cohn @JonathanCohn]

These 75 Democrats joined Republicans to "express gratitude" to ICE agents and call for greater local and state collaboration with ICE.

https://t.co/k2axTHuIET

[Salty Woman @HeyShayToday]

Fuck ICE. It’s a corrupt tool of a corrupt machine. It’s a system designed to carry out a racist, revisionist viewpoint of “law and order” in the most violent, extreme manner possible.

I want this institution dismantled brick by brick until there is nothing left.

[Salty Woman @HeyShayToday]

If I had a nickel for every time there was a movie character named Elizabeth wearing a golden symbol/plot device around their neck, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it’s happened twice.

#ThursdayMurderClub #PiratesOfTheCaribbean

[Salty Woman @HeyShayToday]

Very much enjoying just… burning my life to the ground.

[Salty Woman @HeyShayToday]

Read receipts are devious. I never want anyone to know when I read a text. It’s too much pressure.

[Salty Woman @HeyShayToday]

Omg do I have flirting game?! Wtf.

[Salty Woman @HeyShayToday]

My friend woke me up with a text at 5:30am this morning and I was unable to fall back asleep.

Let me know your revenge ideas. All I’ve come up with is:

1) murder or
2) texting him at like 1am while he’s sleeping.

[Salty Woman @HeyShayToday]

One of the weirdest things about ADHD is one day your brain is a screeching banshee that refuses to do anything for 24 hours… and the next morning you’ve done half your to-do list in an hour.

[Salty Woman @HeyShayToday]

I feel slightly annoyed that my most popular photo on my dating app is a photo of my frisbee team.

[Salty Woman @HeyShayToday]

Okay wasn’t expecting the series finale of #Supernatural to devastate me like this! Glad to have finally caught up/finished this series though. #CarryOn

[Salty Woman @HeyShayToday]

I appreciate that The Empty’s only character motivation is to go back to sleep. Same queen. #Supernatural

[Salty Woman @HeyShayToday]

Watching “The Mummy” and “The Mummy Returns” on DVD, the way God intended.

[Salty Woman @HeyShayToday]

I think I’m the drunk person at Thanksgiving

[Salty Woman @HeyShayToday]

This is regular Thanksgiving?

[Salty Woman @HeyShayToday]

Call me Lady Whistledown, because I have all the frisbee gossip.

[Salty Woman @HeyShayToday]

People need to stop calling me