Jillian Budny

“I promise I will never be your friend. No matter what. Ever.”

[Jillian Budny @HiYepItsJustMe]

@Abewasawiz_3960 I miss you too! Let me know when you want to have coffee & I’ll be there! 👯‍♀️☕️👍🏽

[Jillian Budny @HiYepItsJustMe]

And while I frequently experience intense deja vu after dreams, I’m fairly certain that @atell and I are not actually having a baby.

[Jillian Budny @HiYepItsJustMe]

Last night I dreamt I discovered I was pregnant with @attell’s baby and no matter how many times I woke up, thinking it would stop, I’d fall back asleep & the dream just kept going.

[Jillian Budny @HiYepItsJustMe]

I apologize - Rep. @JohnGaramendi said “Oh shit,” not Gen. Mattis. Either way, @jimsciutto *definitely* said “Oh shit,” live on CNN & it was what I really needed today. #sciutto #ohshit

[Jillian Budny @HiYepItsJustMe]

Watching @cnn & @jimsciutto just quoted General Mattis as saying “oh shit.” Perfect, sober, professional journalist delivery of it too. It was glorious & I wish it could be my ringtone or text alert or something. Get it, Sciutto. 💪🏽 #sciutto #ohshit

[Jillian Budny @HiYepItsJustMe]

Watching @cnn & @jimsciutto just quoted General Mattis as saying “oh shit.” Perfect, sober, professional journalist delivery of it too. It was glorious & I wish it could be my ringtone or text alert or something. Get it, Sciutto. 💪🏽 #sciutto #ohshit

[Jillian Budny @HiYepItsJustMe]

⁦@Lin_Manuel⁩ *This* is how I spent my Thanksgiving Eve. And oh, how I waited for this. Thanksgiving innnnndeed!...how very thankful I am for *you* & your beautiful, beautiful, gloriously talented brain. You’ve made my night/month/year. 💚 #linmanuelmirandaisagloriousangel

[Jillian Budny @HiYepItsJustMe]

I had a super intense, super vivid @ChrisEvans sex dream last nite. He was really into nipple play & had a kind of weird looking penis, but he was really into it, so I was really into it. (I’m assuming his penis doesn’t really look like that.) 🤞🏽 for a repeat tonite. #getit

[Jillian Budny @HiYepItsJustMe]

Has @PatinkinMandy ever been in a production of Fiddler on the Roof? I’m sitting here at work, distracted, thinking about how much I’d enjoy seeing him in Fiddler. No idea why this popped in my head. I just really love some Patinkin. Mandy!, make it happen! #lovesomepatinkin

[Jillian Budny @HiYepItsJustMe]

I legitimately know nothing about either of these people. But, even despite that, this sounds like an absolutely ridiculous couple. I actually read this story because I assumed it was a joke of some sort. Are these Jonas people still famous? What year is it? #celebgossipwithjill https://t.co/ltsKVrIyfS

[E! News @enews]

Everything We Know About Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra's Relationship https://t.co/AMMVSfEeS7

[Jillian Budny @HiYepItsJustMe]

Don’t worry, scumbag...no one does. You were trashy 20some years ago & you’re still trashy now. What a shocker. Go crawl into your hate filled, conspiracy theory hole so we can forget about you for another 20 years (or more). 👋🏽 #byecrazy https://t.co/yrjvU1qnFU

[The Hollywood Reporter @THR]

Roseanne returns to Twitter: "Don't feel sorry for me" https://t.co/gOuMt8otRr

[Jillian Budny @HiYepItsJustMe]

I’m the first one to admit that I know nothing about basketball. But I literally just learned that there’s an NBA team called the Pelicans. The *Pelicans,* for god’s sake! Who the hell is naming these teams? And of all birds, a pelican? It’s all just so confusing. #whypelicans

[Jillian Budny @HiYepItsJustMe]

Thanks to the Olympics, I just discovered that Italy has the longest, jolliest sounding national anthem ever. It’s a real toe tapper. #Olympics2018 #snappynationalanthem #getititaly

[Jillian Budny @HiYepItsJustMe]

@realDonaldTrump I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to clap for yourself during your own speech, while you’re still giving it. Dummy. #sotu #youreembarrassing

[Jillian Budny @HiYepItsJustMe]

Dear @VictoriaSeries, I’m sorry that I don’t even care about Albert’s father dying because I’m still overcome with grief over Dash & Lord M. You officially killed me tonight. #uglycrying #LordMForever #VictoriaPBS

[Jillian Budny @HiYepItsJustMe]

Yesterday I told my mom about how I’ve been having these reoccurring dreams where I’m in a relationship with Larry David & how I always wake up happy the next day. Now I’m afraid she thinks I’m having Larry David sex dreams. #larrydavidsexdream

[Jillian Budny @HiYepItsJustMe]

Dear god, not the iguanas. Curse you, bomb cyclone! #bombcyclone #mothernaturesucks https://t.co/u21eNgvDAs

[CBS News @CBSNews]

It's so cold in Florida right now that iguanas are falling out of trees and perches. https://t.co/uj8pSxfpUm

[Jillian Budny @HiYepItsJustMe]

Well @AHSFX, I will *never* look at “I Swear” the same way again. Ever. Damn. #AHSCult #messiahmakinmusic

[Jillian Budny @HiYepItsJustMe]

A lot of things in the world suck right now. But dogs will *never* suck & will always be better than the rest of us. #moredogslesspeople https://t.co/2rqbBeUB3c

[BuzzFeed @BuzzFeed]

Frida the rescue dog is the hero we need

[Jillian Budny @HiYepItsJustMe]

I may be wrong but I think @ChrisCuomo just described the current weather in FL as "snotty." Maybe that's a technical term. #snottyhurricane