Hilla Felice

Comedian👍Writer👍Producer👍Accountant👎

[Hilla Felice @HillaFelice]

Everyone I know must be getting super hot and popular. Every post on instagram, people want us to DM for collabs

[Hilla Felice @HillaFelice]

The floor is lava was definitely invented by cats

[Hilla Felice @HillaFelice]

It’s not rock bottom until I’ve watched every SVU episode.

[Hilla Felice @HillaFelice]

What’s the point of seeing a pair of dead ringer John Malkovich lookalikes if you have no one to tell about it? #existentialcrisis

[Hilla Felice @HillaFelice]

Anyone else have a recurring nightmare where you finally meet the Olsen twins but somehow mistake Mary Kate for Ashley?

[Hilla Felice @HillaFelice]

Please share this post if you’re in Houston. Let’s help this sweet pup find his way home. #lostdoghouston #houstonlostdogs #houstonmissingpets @ Fourth Ward https://t.co/BBacZFJfXr

[Hilla Felice @HillaFelice]

HTWN Saturday! @ AvantGarden Houston https://t.co/V0MqjDiWfa

[Hilla Felice @HillaFelice]

@caaatherinekay 💕💕💕

[Hilla Felice @HillaFelice]

Amazon telehealth was probably so good til they got greedy bout ad space, removed ‘Sort By Relevance’ and you could still find a good Pediatrician, but only after scrolling page after page of bad Podiatrists with MDs from Alibaba https://t.co/vefAEVAoTi

[Hilla Felice @HillaFelice]

NYC FRIENDS! I love you and I’m sorry I’ve been MIA for awhile. Come watch me next Saturday @industryroom and support this comedy habit that has turned me into an awful friend 💕
🎫 link in bio! @ Broadway Comedy Club https://t.co/nNdKxIwvfj

[Hilla Felice @HillaFelice]

Is there a dating app that lets you filter out people who went to Texas A&M? Nothing personal, just not trying to date people that are married

[Hilla Felice @HillaFelice]

Massive sperm whale found dead had huge tangle of plastic bags in stomach😔 Humans and whales alike, let’s stop going to extreme lengths to avoid wearing a condom https://t.co/gyd1NS86Bb

[Hilla Felice @HillaFelice]

If I could time travel i would go back to when I had baby teeth, to relive the satisfaction of grinding and wiggling teeth without accidentally chipping them

[Hilla Felice @HillaFelice]

Relieved to learn that the location of the black hole is not, in fact, inside me.

[The New York Times @nytimes]

Breaking News: Astronomers captured the first image of the black hole at the center of our galaxy, using the powerful Event Horizon Telescope.
https://t.co/nLMc6DCRTF

[Hilla Felice @HillaFelice]

@katharine_cohen Grand slam! She also gets back with A-Rod 3 times

[Hilla Felice @HillaFelice]

I’m a time traveler from one year in the future. JLo and Ben are no longer together, and everyone in the future thinks I’m an idiot for wasting a time travel on this.

[E! News @enews]

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck Are Engaged Nearly One Year After Reuniting https://t.co/FSgNsckimR

[Hilla Felice @HillaFelice]

Anyone who says billiards instead of pool is hiding something

[Hilla Felice @HillaFelice]

@tweedyjokes Because maybe, just maybe, there is a god after all

[Acid Test @AcidTestFilm]

Happy #femalefilmmakerfriday! Did you know distribution costs $$$? We are doing a final TAX-DEDUCTIBLE fundraiser thru fiscal sponsor @fromtheheartprd to bring @AcidTestFilm to you by end of 2022! Please RT & make your charitable donation today. THX ❤️❤️ https://t.co/m8DdZ3NoNP

[Hilla Felice @HillaFelice]

I don’t want to look like a whore at my brothers wedding, but it might be what happens when you let a 2000’s kid from New Jersey pick out her own bridesmaid dress

[Hilla Felice @HillaFelice]

Comedians are like grizzly bears.

More afraid of you than you are of them, will sneak into your swimming pool, and yes, we shit in the woods.