HindsightFight

All the things I wish I said to people who are jerks.

[HindsightFight @HindsightFight]

@aszmulewicz Julia Louis-Doofus

[Paul Danke @pauldanke]

You can always tell which girls cry the most in the bathroom at work, they're the same ones hollowing out their bagels. :'(

[HindsightFight @HindsightFight]

@humphreythepup Let's run away together. Tonight's the night.

[HindsightFight @HindsightFight]

@Katdines I'll be your Claire Danes tonight...

[HindsightFight @HindsightFight]

@Katdines Can't wait to play with you and HB!

[HindsightFight @HindsightFight]

"Y'all wanna go out tonight? I need to find someone new masterbate to."-person on my bucket list of friends.

[HindsightFight @HindsightFight]

@eddieifft Come to NYC or else we'll slash your tires!!! Love, @Katdines & @eiseleymorgan

[HindsightFight @HindsightFight]

I want to live in a world where toe cleavage is actually a turn on and the sexually liberal (and floozies) would frolick barefoot all day.

[HindsightFight @HindsightFight]

Respectable looking woman on Madison and 53rd- Do you know how severely you're damaging your credibility by sporting Nikes with stockings?

[HindsightFight @HindsightFight]

Rule: Only date a guy who carries a pager. He's either a doctor or a drug dealer, both professions with obvious girlfriend advantages.

[HindsightFight @HindsightFight]

Im only capable of reading Calligraphy. Please stop emailing pure nonsense.

[HindsightFight @HindsightFight]

@Katdines Go hard or go home crying with no shoes on.

[HindsightFight @HindsightFight]

@Katdines I can't feel my tongue. It's burning.

[HindsightFight @HindsightFight]

@Katdines Where are our salads?

[HindsightFight @HindsightFight]

@Katdines Can you rewind to before the last commercial on Modern Family? I missed Claire's joke.

[HindsightFight @HindsightFight]

Every picture I take from July-December where I look gross skinny is a Christmas card contender.

[HindsightFight @HindsightFight]

Monopoly is way less fun than I remember now that I feel guilty cheating.

[HindsightFight @HindsightFight]

#whatmoneycantbuy Disappearing siblings

[HindsightFight @HindsightFight]

#ThingsImThankfulFor Thumbs

[HindsightFight @HindsightFight]

Little bro's girlfriend knows details ab frequency and general state of my pooping schedule. New personal rule: only speak when spoken to.