Ralph Carpaccio

Rent, Taxes, Twitter.

[Ralph Carpaccio @HipDipSommelier]

Me if overusing the tag “disgusting brothers” at work tomorrow is illegal

[Ralph Carpaccio @HipDipSommelier]

The last thing Sheikhdoon saw when he thought he was about to buy an AK:

[CBS News @CBSNews]

A man accused of telling an FBI informant he wanted to attack the Mall of America during the Hmong Arts Celebration on Oct. 24 was arrested at gunpoint Tuesday during an arranged meeting to buy an AK-47-style rifle for $600, according to a federal criminal complaint filed Wednesday in St. Paul. https://t.co/oGG7RZD5qE

[Ralph Carpaccio @HipDipSommelier]

Doing my annual bystander training for work.

I will always call it a powwow. No one will ever stop me from using powwow in a workplace setting.

[Ralph Carpaccio @HipDipSommelier]

True. It wasn’t the lightsaber that killed all of the younglings.

[Autism Capital 🧩 @AutismCapital]

“Blades are neither good nor evil, they’re merely extensions and reflections of those who hold them.”

Connor has more wisdom than half the population. That’s our boy. It takes an autist to directly state the truth. 👏🏼🏆

[Ralph Carpaccio @HipDipSommelier]

When I get shafted in the draft order and scoop Pitts as my sleeper

[SleeperNFL @SleeperNFL]

Michael Penix Jr. at the start of his training camp press conference:

“See we got [Kyle Pitts] the ball? Gonna be a lot of that.”

(@Justin_FOX5)

[Ralph Carpaccio @HipDipSommelier]

When you think your CEO and CPO are having an affair but you can’t prove it

(This was two days ago)

[Ralph Carpaccio @HipDipSommelier]

@PopBase Can they make one next with IBS?

[Ralph Carpaccio @HipDipSommelier]

@Mike_kim714 199 - hopefully shoe size is a 10 👀👀

[Ralph Carpaccio @HipDipSommelier]

WHY IS EVERY UBER EATS DRIVER NAMED MAMADOU?!

[Ralph Carpaccio @HipDipSommelier]

@Vikings @NFLonFOX @nflnetwork KOC got me crying at the office man

[jaden @liljay11k]

LETS GOOOO

[Ralph Carpaccio @HipDipSommelier]

When the groomsmen at the wedding start loosening up

[betr @betr]

Haliey Welch breaking it down in Dallas 🤣

[Ralph Carpaccio @HipDipSommelier]

The barbers at the shop today were talking about the Red Witch from GoT.

“Dude what if you were fucking or eating her ass and she took off her necklace in the middle of it”

That conversation went on for a while.

[Michael S. Kim @Mike_kim714]

So my followers don’t just 🙄 over a sponsored post lol, I’ll do a hat giveaway of the hat shown plus I’ll throw in some Prov1X balls or a dunning shirt too! Like or retweet and I’ll pick some winners tomorrow

[Ralph Carpaccio @HipDipSommelier]

I am going to cry.

[Ralph Carpaccio @HipDipSommelier]

We shouldn’t measure training camp stats against a weak corner back group

[Rookie Watch @RookieWatxh]

JJ McCarthy’s rough training camp stats so far:

• 64/72 (89%)
• 22 passing TD’s
• 1 INT

McCarthy has reportedly already “moved up” to playing against the 1st team defense.

Some NFL scouts reportedly see “shades of an early Andrew Luck” in McCarthy.

The NFC North is in for ANOTHER elite QB.

WATCH OUT 🔥

[Ralph Carpaccio @HipDipSommelier]

The chart below reflects the number of live bets placed during the workday when the Olympics start

[Ralph Carpaccio @HipDipSommelier]

Not that this would ever happen, but a White House cabinet referred to as the ‘Knights of Kamala’ is such good branding

[Ralph Carpaccio @HipDipSommelier]

My boy @CapoCustomer gains 3.8 pounds during each meal

[MLFootball @MLFootball]

#Ravens kicker Justin Tucker reveals he has gained 3.8 pounds during the offseason to prepare for “increased contact” due to the new kickoff rule.

👀

(Via @LIVERavenNation)

[Ralph Carpaccio @HipDipSommelier]

Man that was like a religious ass experience

[Ralph Carpaccio @HipDipSommelier]

One like and I’ll get high, order five guys, and watch Dune 2 tonight

[Ralph Carpaccio @HipDipSommelier]

This is not a real movie