Jeff Schauff

A combination of a nerd, sports enthusiast, husband, father, teacher and proud owner of a pretty cool mancave

[Jeff Schauff @HitmenEwok]

@Rogers I know it's only a drop in the bucket but I promise I will cancel my Rogers cable the second my contract expires and switch to Telus for this. Killing Fan960 is the last straw garbage move from this company for me.

[Jeff Schauff @HitmenEwok]

Drew has been a world class official for awhile now. #YYC

[JayOnSC @JayOnSC]

CANADIANS! 🇨🇦 #FIFAWorldCup

[Jeff Schauff @HitmenEwok]

It would appear that #Vegas and the #Hurricanes are incapable of playing a boring game. #StanleyCupPlayoffs

[Jeff Schauff @HitmenEwok]

"Those aren't even words."

"Speh"

😁

[Rodger Sherman @rodger]

Shrey spelling 32 words in 90 seconds to win the Spelling Bee is the new greatest athletic accomplishment of 2026. I don’t even know how he said the letters that fast. Got a “Holy Mackerel” out of
@minakimes

[Rodger Sherman @rodger]

Shrey spelling 32 words in 90 seconds to win the Spelling Bee is the new greatest athletic accomplishment of 2026. I don’t even know how he said the letters that fast. Got a “Holy Mackerel” out of
@minakimes

[Jeff Schauff @HitmenEwok]

Leftover pancakes in the toaster: Pretty good

Leftover pancakes in the microwave: Barely food

[Jeff Schauff @HitmenEwok]

@SeanMBailly Link isn't working

[Jeff Schauff @HitmenEwok]

@GambelerQuail @JasonKPargin This, but also for giving birth. Patton Oswalt has a phenomenal bit on this.

[Jeff Schauff @HitmenEwok]

To quote Jon Bois, "why watch overtime playoff hockey when you can simply snort cocaine and ride a motorcycle out of a helicopter"

[Jeff Schauff @HitmenEwok]

@WHLHitmen What's the franchise record for longest game?

[Jeff Schauff @HitmenEwok]

@WHLHitmen @ENMAX Even if it was the back of her head, my daughter loved seeing her talking to Eric in the video. The players were all wonderful to deal with.

[Jeff Schauff @HitmenEwok]

@960boomer I'd ask if you were at Fyre Fest but at least there's bacon 👍

[Jeff Schauff @HitmenEwok]

So it's the rule that is in fact ridiculous. Good to know. #WorldJuniors

[Jeff Schauff @HitmenEwok]

Why even have video review with calls this bad? #CanvsFin #WJHC

[Jeff Schauff @HitmenEwok]

Why even have video review with calls this bad? #CanvsFin #WJHC

[Jeff Schauff @HitmenEwok]

@Leopoldstavern I don't know if it will make it but the southern fried chicken poutine should.

[Jeff Schauff @HitmenEwok]

@SeanMBailly *Takes notes*

[Jeff Schauff @HitmenEwok]

@SeanMBailly Look for Corridor Crew Home Alone Rated R on YouTube

[Jeff Schauff @HitmenEwok]

@SeanMBailly How will the Calgary Expo fill the floor?

[Jeff Schauff @HitmenEwok]

@DownGoesBrown Even at the time it felt special but looking back on how many writers have flourished elsewhere, it's remarkable how good of an eye for talent they had.