Joe Hoeffner

Freelance writer, former managing editor of @TwoStoryMelody. Bylines: @thedailybeast, @NextBestPicture. Writes about Oscars sometimes, but in a normal way.

[Joe Hoeffner @HoeffnerJoe]

@davidehrlich James Gray every Cannes

[Joe Hoeffner @HoeffnerJoe]

Has Jerma seen the nine inch nails tumblr post

[holden m. accountable @noahpasaran]

hercule poirot: but at ze same time zat captain ‘astings was loading ze guns in ze parlor, madam was in ze RAcial CHATRooms…

sobbing woman: …showing… showing feet

poirot: preCISELy

[Joe Hoeffner @HoeffnerJoe]

@dinnerd0g You should draw a group photo with Matt beaming obliviously in the middle of a bunch of confused/perturbed horse girls

[Joe Hoeffner @HoeffnerJoe]

@mertonesque Mazel tov!!!

[Joe Hoeffner @HoeffnerJoe]

The answer is that nobody is going to greenlight a big-budget series without an IP attached so this is the best chance they have to do something even vaguely original

[biggie @biggieU_U]

>Witcher show writers: "We dislike the games and books"
>Halo show writers: "We didn't look at the games, didn't talk about them"
Who keeps giving videogame adaptations to people who hate videogames ✌️😭

[Joe Hoeffner @HoeffnerJoe]

I’m late to the Boots Riley discourse but this about sums it up

[sam goldner @szgoldner]

Top 10 Most Mysterious Boards of Canada Songs:

1. The Milking Ministry
2. Little Fright Boys
3. Flowers Are Actually Weird Balloons
4. Crinchtrons
5. The Number Two
6. Hypnotized Scallywags
7. Mathematical Drainage
8. Birds Can’t Run
9. Colonoscope
10. Invisible Gun

[Joe Hoeffner @HoeffnerJoe]

@simulacreage The only answer is Virginia Plain by Roxy Music

[Cyrene (Fleechi) @Fleechiru]

they gotta run this poll again there’s been a shift in the world

[Joe Hoeffner @HoeffnerJoe]

I was at the NTBTS meetup in NYC but I’m not posting pictures because I A: wasn’t cosplaying and more to the point B: looked like shit

[carl 🥦 @NightlifeMingus]

His rants have appeared in SCREED, Diatribe Review, The Quarterly Harangue, Jeremiad, and elsewhere

[Joe Hoeffner @HoeffnerJoe]

@megannn_lynne The way I can hear those “o”s in the “chop chop”s

[spaniel avenger @nicebigdog]

your 20s are for having fun. your 30s are for having fun. and you guessed it your 40s are for having fun

[Joe Hoeffner @HoeffnerJoe]

People are looking askance at the last part, but even just a serviceable order of chicken tenders and fries becomes a truly elite experience by the pool. Science is still not sure why

[girly&wordly @Brieyonce]

Picture this. Two books. Poolside cabana. Frozen passion fruit margarita slightly melted. Chicken tenders and french fries.

[HOLD THE LINE STARMER #MISTAKESINTOMIRACLES @GarlicCorgi]

Low key I kinda liked the lore that there was a network of traders like Jose and Ming that worked to bring you quality products from around the globe

[Alan Woke 🪬🍉 @skorpiomag]

did you guys know on the pitt subreddit they had to make a vriska-style containment thread for any discussion about trinity santos

[Joe Hoeffner @HoeffnerJoe]

@areyougonnabe Ahoy!

[nadia @toptentextures]

dreadful would be the word they’d use in the belle and sebastian subreddit