Homer Simpson

I'm the bumbling husband of Marge and father of Bart, Lisa and Maggie Simpson. This is the unofficial Twitter of Homer Simpson.

[Homer Simpson @HomerTwits]

The worst thing about growing older is remembering when you were younger.

[Homer Simpson @HomerTwits]

Was going to gas station to sodomize myself with a fuel nozzle. Saw this :( http://t.co/hKUyMWuFQk

[Homer Simpson @HomerTwits]

Super COOL gift ideas for your pets -> http://t.co/KG331cPgAD

[Homer Simpson @HomerTwits]

If someone hates you for no reason, give that motherfucker a reason.

[Homer Simpson @HomerTwits]

In Soviet Russia, space explores you.

[Homer Simpson @HomerTwits]

When life gets tough, remember: You were the strongest sperm.

[Homer Simpson @HomerTwits]

RT @shopecia: I refuse to reminisce everything happens to me #in2012 unless it's in a 'best of' format.

[Homer Simpson @HomerTwits]

One Fuck was given this Christmas day http://t.co/InDEIYFd

[Homer Simpson @HomerTwits]

"Single and ready to mingle" ? Wake up, you're just a Loner with a Boner.

[Homer Simpson @HomerTwits]

One Direction makes a parody of this song http://t.co/MoXWfIFO

[Homer Simpson @HomerTwits]

OMG! A fish with a graph patterned scales http://t.co/YWfaJiVK

[Homer Simpson @HomerTwits]

Rest assured, if a crazy guy broke into the Senate chambers and murdered 20 Senators, gun control legislation would be passed within a month

[Homer Simpson @HomerTwits]

Boob is the perfect word. The B looks like an aerial view of them, the 2 o's look like a front view and the b looks like a side view.

[Homer Simpson @HomerTwits]

I tweet two

[Homer Simpson @HomerTwits]

I don't always tweet on twitter but when i do...

[Homer Simpson @HomerTwits]

Myspace: Died a couple of years ago. Facebook: In the hospital. Twitter: At the club throwing ones at big booty strippers.

[Homer Simpson @HomerTwits]

Must Follow @shopecia for shoppers of cool stuffs. Visit http://t.co/99oymnUo

[Homer Simpson @HomerTwits]

The first wet pussy I see in months. http://t.co/2xgFd8Vk

[Homer Simpson @HomerTwits]

Jesus hang out with 12 guys and a prostitute. He was more like me than like you.

[Homer Simpson @HomerTwits]

Earth is the 3rd Planet from the Sun. So technically, we all live in 3rd World Countries