leisure beam

Often the most courageous guy. Til a buncha non-pussies arrive

[leisure beam @HowardLButler]

My dad told my terrified 4 year old ass to go back to bed and that the thing in my room is just a dang cyclops. Like I only needed a name

[leisure beam @HowardLButler]

Ordered some Levi's yesterday. They've shipped and will be here tomorrow
Thanks, St Lawrence Seaway. For Mark Messier too

[leisure beam @HowardLButler]

Drove thru Dixon, IL for the 1st time. Their comptroller embezzled 54 mil. They got good at making bronze tools quick tho
#DixonStrong

[leisure beam @HowardLButler]

The Bears losing the '05 super bowl gave me the same crestfall as seeing a kayak crushed under a semi on I-39 the other day but no one in it

[leisure beam @HowardLButler]

Child support e-pay makes me change my password all the time. So hackers can't support my kids.

[leisure beam @HowardLButler]

@lacharpenta Still meets my standards for good drawing

[leisure beam @HowardLButler]

I can sense I'm drifting to sleep by the odd thoughts.
Ex: I was helping a guy disassemble a huge tree so we could deep clean it

[leisure beam @HowardLButler]

@BarackObama @SenJohnMcCain Weird way to report someone's passing but OK. RIP Sen. McCain

[leisure beam @HowardLButler]

I always tell my patients
A: obviously this is illegal, think of the $ you saved instead of screaming
B: If it goes wrong I am gonna kill ya

[leisure beam @HowardLButler]

Saw a krushed kayak under a semi on I-39, I-80, I-355, or I-88 in northern Illinois today. And the sad LL bean mfs pulled over too

[leisure beam @HowardLButler]

I asked for straight A's. From BOTH of them. Sucks for Nolan, but no child support this month. That was my deal with them.

[leisure beam @HowardLButler]

@DriftKrinsky I wish I could follow you twice just for your bio

[leisure beam @HowardLButler]

Thankfully, the interviewer seemed not to notice what brand my tuxedo was (And1).

[leisure beam @HowardLButler]

Is it racist to pronounce "vontaze" correctly?

[leisure beam @HowardLButler]

@JulianAssange @UnseeingEyes It's mostly my fault that my tweets aren't funny

[leisure beam @HowardLButler]

Remember that show where a mysterious kid blew every Dukes of Hazzard stunt w physics? Is that the magic trick ruiner? Grown up?

[leisure beam @HowardLButler]

Don't like my Seal Team 6 blog? Simple.
Don't fucking read it!
I have 16 CONFIRMED books read about ST6, you guys have, uhh, whaaaat? 0!

[leisure beam @HowardLButler]

@OfficialMauiJim how much $ does MJI have in hemmed denim shorts? And don't just say "it's diversified".

[leisure beam @HowardLButler]

Somebody eye-judged my interracial relationship on the bus. Thank god it was in Chi. Press the beige button, caboose uncouples

[leisure beam @HowardLButler]

Older guy in Diboll, TX watching a long row of parked semis allnite in a truckstop? 7/15? White 'stang convertible?
#missedconnections